Sunday Inspiration - Sinning -

Hello friends! Happy Sunday to each of you. I hope your day is going well. Around here, it looks like it is going to pour down and we are all just relaxing on this very stress free day. I thought for today's Sunday Inspiration post, I would talk about sinning for a few minutes. It's no secret that we all sin. I say and do things all the time that are not God like. I make mistakes like anyone else. But I take those mistakes head on and try to learn from each situation and move on. I would rather admit, that yes...I have sinned and try to figure out a better way, instead of being in denial. We all sin and make mistakes. We don’t always understand why God doesn’t give us the things we desire, but the bottom line is that we don’t have to understand. God’s wisdom exceeds ours, and we are called to accept that. This is what’s known as giving up our will for His. 

 Every person who believes in God has, at one time or another, admitted their inability to stop sinning. While we tend to think the problem comes from weakness in ourselves, the inability to stop sinning usually comes from not knowing or understanding of God’s strength. When we do not understand His power to save, forgive, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9), we can get caught in a destructive cycle of sin, guilt, and fear, which leads to a lack of joy in our salvation, which leads to more sin. 

In Psalm 51:12, David pleads with God, “Restore to me the joy of my salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” He asks God for a return of the joy of his salvation. Joy is key in our victory over sin. It is also important that we understand that God sustains us “with a willing spirit.” God takes joy in saving us, and we take joy in being saved. The joy of salvation comes from accepting the fact that God’s grace covers us, that He will change us and conform us to the image of Christ, and that it is His work, not ours (Romans 8:29; Philippians 1:6; Philippians 2:13; Hebrews 13:20-21). Once we understand this, sin loses its power. We no longer feel the impulse to turn to sin as a means of temporary relief from anxiety, because the anxiety and pressure has been relieved once for all by Christ (Hebrews 10:10, 14). Then, the good works we accomplish in faith are done because of love and joy rather than out of fear or duty.

If people could stop sinning by just deciding to stop, we'd all know a lot of perfect people. But no one stops sinning. No one. I sure don't, despite my best efforts. Even Paul confesses that he continues to do what he doesn't want to do. When the Bible tells us to repent, it doesn't mean we're able to stop the sinful behavior by just deciding to (Romans 7).

Instead, repentance means "to turn." We turn our minds back to Christ—confessing where we are and where we long to be. We admit we've sinned and ask Jesus to cleanse us. We can't do that ourselves. It's God who changes us. This process is called sanctification—and it's a result of continued prayer, confession, admitting our dependence on God, and seeking strength.Through sanctification, sin does lose its power over us and we can become stronger. But we never stop sinning because we are human. Therefore, all of us have to keep turning back to Jesus time after time. It's only when we stop returning to God after sinning and start pretending like our sins are OK that we begin doing very serious damage to our relationship with God. If we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive us (1 John 1:9). Jesus taught the disciples that they needed to forgive people who sinned against them "7 times 70 times" (or 490 times). If he expected his impatient and flawed disciples to forgive that many times, we can be sure that God is willing to forgive us as often as we come humbly and confess our shortcomings to him with a desire for him to change our lives. We are all children of God and we are all going to make mistakes and sin on a daily basis. We are all in this together and we shouldn't judge someone because they sin different from us. We have to focus our own lives, our own sins and asking for our own forgiveness. I hope today and everyday you remember this and remember you don't have to be perfect. Instead, you simply have to try to do better and ask God for forgiveness for your sins. 

I hope you have a beautiful and blessed Sunday. If you have any thoughts you want to share with me and the other readers about sinning; I would love to hear from you in the comments below. 

K Jaggers

♥

Sunday Inspiration...You are enough.

Hello friends. I hope you guys are having a great day. It's a slow start in our house. Scott is out playing golf so Jackson and myself are just enjoying the beauty of doing nothing. It is actually amazing to be sitting outside right now blogging, enjoying coffee and listening to the birds sing....with no big plans. It's a beautiful day and we are soaking it up as much as possible.

I received one of the most touching emails last night from a subscriber who has been reading this blog and watching my videos for a long time without commenting. She felt embarrassed almost to leave a comment on a strangers video. Yet her email was so sweet letting me know that she did not consider me just " someone " she tunes into occasionally. She considered me a friend and wasn't sure how to approach me. She went on to tell me about her life and her children. She is in a big city with a husband who works a lot and I have helped ease the pain of being in a new unfamiliar place. By time I was finished reading her email, I had tears flowing down my face. It totally touched my ♥. First off to her or anyone of you guys....you can ALWAYS comment or get a hold of me through email or social media like instagram or facebook. I might sometimes get backed up but I always try my hardest to respond quickly. As I thought about that email all evening long it made me wonder how anyone could see me as a role model besides my kids. I have received a lot of emails through out the years with touching stories but I still have not accepted the impact of being a blogger/youtube. I guess you never really know who is watching. I have found through out the years that the women in my life are the biggest by far support group that I will ever have. From my mom and sister, to Scott family and lifetime best friends I am loved, cared for and supported each and every day. Even on the days I am not so nice, they are still loving and supportive. But in reading that email, I realized that not everyone has that. Some people are alone in this world without a big support system in place to help during the hard time....or even to celebrate the good times. To some, this blog and my videos are a soft place to fall. It's still hard understanding the impact on some, but I am here for you guys in any situation. I am just an email away. You are not alone. Even if we have never met, that doesn't mean I don't care. I will always care about the people reading this blog and watching our videos.  You will be validated, affirmed and heard.. You have a friend in me. ♥

Even for me yesterday I had my own moment. 10 hours after giving birth the Duchess of Cambridge stepped out looking so amazing. I seriously thought somoene else had that baby. She is stunning no doubt, but I have never seen a woman look like that 10 hours after having a baby. It was kinda weird becuase just for a moment it made me feel less than because I never looked so amazing 10 hours after having a baby. I found I was not the only one feeling that way. Lots of friends were saying and feeling the same. However,  those wonderful woman in my life were quick to point out that we don't have the teams of people cleaning us up and making us look good.  We simply cannot compare our lives with anyone else. It is totally normal to leave the hospital with a new baby looking like crap. Its ok that you are not the picture perfect wife or mom. The true test is over time. Our journeys are unique to each one of us. Being jealous and envious is all ego based. Being your true self is transforming. God made us each unique and we all have something to share and contribute. I try to be a kind person, a good wife and mother but there are days when I fall flat on my face. My family and close friends are always there to be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and they are strong enough to run the world. That's what we need....more women supporting each other. I don't think you have to like everyone...there are a lot of people I am not so fond of but you can still handle yourself with grace and dignity when dealing with them. Still a lesson I am trying to learn.

Some how along the way, with us sharing our lives with you...it has left an impression with some. There are times when it's not the best impression....maybe I overshared but for the most part, it has been helpful, inspiring, funny, and motivating....so you tell me. :) I am honored that you come back and visit us, learn about our family and even share things about yourselves. This blog and my youtube channel are blessings in disguise and we thank you for coming and visiting and getting to know us. I think God put this in my life not only to help me but to somehow help others. I have been blogging from 2008 starting off in myspace and then moving here to blogger in 2011. WOW..7 years!! And then a few years ago, I started really making youtube videos. Sometimes I get fed up over something and feel like quitting but clearly it's a passion of mine. I am not sure why God wants me doing this but I have prayed about it for years... and I am still here. So as you take this ride with us, remember if you need a friend...we are here. And believe me, you have been there for us too in some of our hardest of times. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

I hope you guys have a beautiful and blessed Sunday. xx

Sunday Inspiration

Happy Sunday friends! I hope you are having a wonderful afternoon. I am hanging out with Scott and Jackson today but I thought I would take a few minutes to write a Sunday Inspiration blog post.  It's just a time when I can look back and concentrate on the miracles, challenges, and happenings that God has put into my life. Hope you enjoy. ♥

Scott and I have a beautiful family. We have healthy loving kids who are doing their best to figure out who they are along with trying to navigate through all the paths this life gives all of us. However the younger kids are giving us a run for our money this year. Thanks to this wonderful internet, they have been subjected to things they should never have to see. I think as parents is our job to stay ahead of technology to protect them. But what happens when they are around other children at school, sleep overs, and even at home sometimes when other parents don't do the same? Well let me tell you that is something we have been running into here lately and it's caused us some trouble in our family with our kids. We had our family trip down south that was stressful enough on its own, only to come home and have to deal with internet issues on the other kids.

I won't say that it's life altering or anything but happened to kids being kids? Why is everything starting so fast for them now? I guess it's all the access to the internet and just the changing times. This is really uncharted waters for us. We have a 25 year old who married with her family. My oldest son lives with his grandparents and is pretty immature but still older and then we have two 12 year old boys and a 13 year old daughter. The oldest two are past this point but we are still running as fast as we can to stay ahead of the little kids. Then we think we are ahead of the game only to realize that the kids at school who's parents are not monitoring showing other kids. It amazes me how much fast children destroy everything we are doing. I have felt pretty defeated here lately but I have been praying more for grace, understanding, and patience. Sadly, we are not the only influences in our kids lives. But during these times, I realize that I am not going to stop doing my part in protecting our children.

It's hard for me to accept that we are finally at the point where the outside influences are coming into their lives. We have controlled the tv, internet and phones for a while now..and we have even controlled their friends to a big degree but we are coming to the point where we can only hope our influence is the best and most constant. Our hope is that God's influence trumps all. From our prayers to theirs, we want them to take the path that God has laid out for each of them. I know that will bring trials and tribulations along the way but in the end, I hope they are happy healthy kind people. That's my hope for all of our kids. I have come to think that the influences that I don't like will come and go through their entire lives. If they keep their faith strong, they will be able to just kinda pass through those times moving on to something better. It's been a challenge with all the kids here lately. I have been reading a new parenting book which I will come back and discuss at another time. I have a wonderful support system who I call upon in good times as well as bad to give me their fresh insight into whatever situation is going on. I can't even begin to tell you how important they are in my life and the kids lives too. It takes a village and I need all their support. 

Life is a bunch of challenges and parenting is the hardest job on the planet. Each day there is something new happening or changing. And as scary as it is, I have to just go with the flow and keep an open heart with a lot of forgiveness to get through it all. We have to let the kids be themselves and grow up but in the right time. Just because some of their friends are doing things/seeing things or saying things does not mean our children will follow suit. We will remain strong in our faith and convictions and let God lead the way. 

Thanks for stopping by. I hope your Sunday is going well. I am hanging out with Scott and Jackson and have a food haul coming up in a bit! Stay tuned. 

Sunday Inspiration

Happy Sunday to you all. I hope your having a wonderful night. I am getting this up a little later than normal because it's just been one of those days when we have hung out together, watched tv, played games, and enjoyed each others company which takes precedent over blog posts. Sorry. 

Here this past week has been a roller coaster of emotions. We have been dealing with some kid issues that have shocked and hurt us all at the same time. We have prayed, talked, and found our way down south on a journey neither of us really expected. We were just going on faith that it would work out how we hoped. We have never been in any situation like this so everything is new. While I was there I experienced every feeling known to man. But I knew that God was with us every step of the way. I also knew that so many of you guys were with us...sending your love and prayers. Our entire family thanks you for taking the time to pray for us and for our children. It totally touched our hearts. It is because of your prayers that I think everything turned out the way it did.


The older I get the more I understand faith. God gives miracles to those who believe, courage to those who have faith, hope to those that dream, and love to those who accept him. I have always seen things with the glass half empty outlook but as I get older, I am learning that just a little faith goes a long way. Having faith gives you an opportunity to see things a different way. Knowing that God is leading the way, you just have to take one step at a time. Eventually all the pieces fall together.


Through this journey I have shared with you for your support, advice, and prayers. I have been an open book for years and while I find nothing wrong with sharing, others do. I responded to some of them in this post, but after thinking about it more, it probably was a waste of time. People are going to judge and criticize no matter what. I shouldn't waste my time because explaining something to someone who is dead set in their opinions is going to lead no where. Its hard because a part of this blogging and youtube journey that I have been on for over 5 years has allowed me to feel safe enough to share my thoughts and opinions on basically everything without any fear. But now when I sit down to edit a video or write a blog post, I am more cautious which is kinda sad. I don't write for them or make videos for them. I make them for us and sharing them with this wonderful community is just a bonus. Some might like it, some might not but either which way, I am going to continue to just be me and trust that God knows what he is doing.

" For we walk in faith, not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7 

My worries will get me no where. Most of the time we worry about things that never happen. Instead, I will continue to give all those problems to God and keep my focus on the most important things. I am still learning to control my thoughts but each day I push out a little more of the negativity and let the positive in.  Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for inspiring us...and thank you for sharing in our life.

I hope you have a great week. ♥

Sunday Inspiration: Let Go & Let God ♥

Happy Sunday friends! I hope your having a great afternoon. The boys just to go fishing and do some boy stuff that I am not so fond of. :) It's great for them to get to spend some time together since Scott works so much. It also gives me some free time to write this blog post! 

I thought that picture quote above so right on point. So many times we all get tired and grumpy with this worlds problems and such but the more we let God in, the less we experience those feelings. It's been a journey for me trying to understand that. The more light you let in, the less anything else can fill the space. It's hard to remember that sometimes right? We are all going on with everyday life... good times and bad and its so easy to forget to let God in when you are stressed out or upset. But if you just take a few seconds in those times, its amazing how the issues will flow through you and not get stuck in your head or heart.

This next week, is going to be extremely stressful for our family. We have to travel south to go to a court hearing about Zane. In case you are new here, my husband has a son by a previous marriage and that child has been taken from his mothers care and put in foster care. We are making the long car trip for a court hearing that I am not too happy about. While I would like things to happen in a much different way, it's really out of my control. Giving it to God was our only option. I've had some light bulb moments in the past week but none so bright as realizing that maybe I am just a visitor in Zanes journey. Maybe I am not here to fix anything. Maybe I am here just to be a witness to his life. So much is totally out of my control which drives me crazy. When you really think about it, most things in life are out of our control. I think you have to surrender to that alone. All we can really do is let God do his will and try to see the blessings in disguise.



Since this next week is going to be pretty stressful, I know I will have to redirect my heart more towards God and let go. I am just going to allow the situation to flow through me instead of living within me. God lives in me. Someone cleverly once said to me that I should let life's problems flow through me but don't allow them to take up residence in my heart and body. Let their stay be short. 

We are all on our own separate journeys. In case you are going through something stressful yourself, I thought these reminders might make you feel a little better. ♥

Matthew 6:27 

" And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" 

Romans 8:18

" The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming," 

Proverbs 12:25

" Anxiety is a man's heart weighs him down but a good word makes him glad."

Psalm 94:19

 When anxiety was great within me, our consolation brought me joy. " 

I hope you have a beautiful and blessed week.

Sunday Inspiration

Hello friends! Happy Sunday to you all. My family is going in a ton of different directions today. Scott just headed out to play golf and I am enjoying starting my day super slow. I didn't even fall asleep until around 5am and eventually dragging my butt out until 11am. Jackson got up about the same time. We don't start weekends in a hurry around here unless we have something going on. :) I am kinda shocked Scott is heading out to play golf in this kinda of weather. They better play fast otherwise they might just get rained on. I guess he just wanted to get out there with the boys and try to hope some spring like weather will allow them to get in 18 holes. In just a little while, Jackson and I are heading out to paint ceramics. We made some Christmas gifts last month but Jackson wanted to go back today and actually make something for himself.  And I too thought it would be fun. We love painting! 

So on Thursday, we got some bad news on Zane. He is mad at everyone...hates everyone and doesn't want to come here. The social worker told us she cannot move any child who feels that way. It was like being crushed. It totally changed the day and even the days following, we have been going on with broken hearts. For a while I even thought about not going to the court hearing....thinking that it would make no difference. I kinda lost faith on that Thursday that we would ever even see Zane again. I know I am an adult and he is a child. A child who has been through a lot but it just didn't make sense to me that we are not the ones who abused him but we are being punished like we did it. It really doesn't make sense to our family. All the kids don't understand it either because we know we can give him such a better life that what he has been living. It wouldn't be perfect around here but we don't abuse kids and we love him. All of us love him which again...tested my faith in everything. I prayed for weeks that he would come here. Many nights I fell asleep while praying and still thought God knew what was in my head and heart. So I didn't think it really mattered. Now I'm thinking it does. 

I made was vlogging on Thursday. I planned on just putting it in Monday's DITL vlog but it was too long. I was so upset that I just talked and talked to you guys about what happened. I expressed all my feelings, right or wrong to you guys. I really think that you're a huge part of my village. For years I had made not well thought out, rash, decisions that were emotion based more than anything. So now as I get older, I still take help from my village. My family, close friends, and you guys help me now to make better decisions. I normally run all my bad ideas past you guys  before I do it. This time I poured my heart out in a very honest vlog and you guys responded. You reminded me of so many things that I was forgetting in the moment. Most of all you guys told me to not give up and have faith. Not just in the system but in God and more importantly Zane. Thank you guys for that. I mean it. Reading your comments, kinda helped bring me out of so much emotion into a little more reason. 

I am going to the hearing. After thinking about it, reading your comments and praying I am going. I was being selfish. I was thinking of my own pain and hurt instead of keeping my thoughts on Zane. It took a day after the initial shock to think clearly. I also need to keep my faith in God. Maybe it's less about my path and more about Zanes. Maybe we are just the collateral damage. My husband is still upset as well but we are going to go together and show Zane we will respect his wishes but also to show him that we love him. I don't think we will even get to talk to him but we are going as a family for a young family member. Its been heart breaking to say the least but its about more than the adults broken heart. I know Zane is probably really angry and scared. So thank you guys for the sweet reminders. You guys were so loving and caring and I am so thankful to each of you for reminding me what is important.

As a family we are worried about Zane and what is happening with him. However, I feel defeated and I feel hurt. But God is in control and I have to believe that he will bring us all peace. Especially Zane. All I can do at this point, is pray and hope that what is going to happen, its the right thing for everyone. God has a plan, I guess and who am I to mess with it. I just hate this entire situation and wish more than anything we all had peace of mind that our child is safe and happy. Right now he might be safe from abuse but he is not happy. Neither are we. I wish we could get him here and wrap him up in our love. Until then I am putting it in Gods hands and letting go. What is meant to be will be and there is nothing I can do about any of it. Prayers still needed. xx

Sunday Inspiration

Happy Sunday to you all. I hope you are all having a wonderful afternoon. All of us around here were sleepy heads today including myself. :) I love it when we can all sleep in and wake up together easily. Weekends are great! Most Sunday's I try to publish a more spiritual blog post. Normally it is influenced by life and today is no different.

 While we were in Indiana for Christmas, I had a crazy little moment where I realized we were now really the grandparents and we are moving up in the line and soon we will just be memories in our kids and grand children hearts. I don't know why it hit me so hard in the moment but it truly did. It was huge for me. After that thought came in my mind, I just could not stop thinking about it. Scott reminded me that even though we are in fact grandparents, I still have my mom and dad. Sadly, his are both gone but we still have time. That spun my mind in even more directions. 

Here are some of the thoughts that were coming to mind:

* How could it be this way?? * Are we really getting old so fast? * Eventually we will be all the kids have. * I have to try to set better examples in everything. * I totally need to master the art of self control. * I should be praying more. * Still so many happy memories to make with all the kids. * Scott really does love me. I have to keep our marriage strong no matter what. * We need more family time. * Why haven't we found a church? * I need to control my cursing. * We really are going to just be memories one day. * Maybe we should get more life insurance to give to the kids? *I need to print this blog into books for the kids to have. *What's happens if Scott or I get sick? * I need to smile more. * I need to really make the most of this time now. *Doesn't life seem to go by in the blink of the eye.

All those thoughts and more flowed through my mind for days on end. I felt sad but I also felt compelled to really make a difference in my families life. I want to be a better wife, mother and friend. I know at this point in my life I should have more self control than what I do. I should be choosing my words more carefully and speaking in love not anger. Especially with my family. I should be more patient even on days I am tired. I just had a real awakening that we are the grown ups now. We are the one's who are setting the example. It's crazy thinking about it that way but its been that way for a while now and it's just starting to sink in how important my role in this family is. I have so many things I still want to teach my children. I have so many things that I still need to learn and it doesn't seem like much time to get it all done.

I think for a while now I have let past things haunt me in the current day. In which I think it has altered my ability to trust. I don't just mean trust other people. All the anxiety I have has to be from the past when something has scared or hurt me. So realizing how it all ties together, has been a real revelation for me. I am not saying I know it and its all better now. But what I do know is I am working hard to have everything on that tree above in my life.

Maybe it is me getting older that makes me realize how precious time is and important it is for me to make the biggest impact in the smallest amount of time with the kids. My fear of the ticking clock has to be set aside for me to get my life organized and cleaned up while I still have the time to do it. I haven't been the best person I could be in the first part. So maybe if I take control of my mind, body, and spirit....the rest of my life here can be more meaningful. None of us are promised tomorrow and my questions to you is....are you living a life you are proud of? Could you do it better? How would you do it better?


Here's my short list of needed self improvements:

• Make more time for God. No matter if we find a church or not in the near future, my family and I can still make more time to pray, to read scriptures and mediate. 
• Stop Cursing. Yep. It's time. You never sound like a lady saying the F word all the time. Wish me luck. 
• Be nice to strangers. I need to trust that most people are kind. I should know that by now because you guys have been amazing to me. 
• Forgive when I don't get that apology I want or think I need. 
• Make more time with the kids. I think they just want to see our eyes light up when they enter the room. Really the kids have actually taught me so much. 
• Try to believe & trust in people until they actually give me a reason not to. 
• Make my marriage a example the kids are proud of. 

So you can see the things I am going to start with. I didn't want to categorize them in New Year Resolutions. It's really more life changes instead of some change for the year. I just feel like time is running out to get it right. Do you ever feel tat way? Idk but I am taking stock and trying to figure out what is most important.

Happy Sunday. ♥

Sunday Inspiration ♥

 Hello friends. I hope you are having a beautiful Sunday evening. I am here a little later today with my Sunday Inspiration post. Its been raining all day long and it's been totally hard finding any motivation to do anything. Its been dark all day long and the boys have been napping and lazy most of the day.. Me too. Can you believe this is the last Sunday before Thanksgiving. This time next week, we will be through the holiday and moving on into Christmas. It's amazing to me how fast time is passing.

There are so many of us who are going to be having Thanksgiving with our families in just a few days. The grand tables with all the delicious foods, football games going on it the background, family being together and visiting each other. I also hope in that time you will make it a tradition to look at the day, the month, the year, and share what you are thankful for. I think it always means so much to actually speak it. Words have power. When you speak positive you attract more positive circumstances in your life. Plus it means a lot when you're told that your important and someone is thankful for you. I am not always the best at showing my true feelings but all of us can come out of our shell to be kind to someone else. How about just for this week, at least one time a day, you do something kind for someone else. Random acts of kindness for the week of Thanksgiving. Leave a special note for someone at work, do something extra special for your husband and kids, help a homeless person, leave an extra tip for service.....you get the idea. Lets spread the love this upcoming week. Maybe I will come back and share my 7 acts of kindness in a blog post later next week. If you want to share too, come back and leave your link daily or whenever on this blog post.  I would love it if all of you guys reading this post participated. Make a difference in someones life this week.


I have been doing a lot of praying this week. I have a friend who is not well and being treated at the Cancer Institute of America. Another girlfriend was traveling all last week and now sick herself, and so many other prayers going up to God himself. I have heard others say they don't pray for little things..only important things. I pray about everything I need to pray about and some days that might just be praying that he will grant me a favor and help me find my car keys. I simply ask God for his help. It is in these little prayers/miracles I see God the most. He's on like On Demand...available to all of us anytime. Even for the littlest of prayers answered, I am always grateful and I am always thankful. And I always say Thank you to God for his help. I have even asked God for help when trying to find a parking space on a day my ankle and knee was killing me. In a crowded store, right there after my prayer went up, a car moved out of the front line giving me the best possible spot short of Handicap. Could this be just be a coincidence....maybe but I believe it is God working his miracles even in the smallest of ways when I call upon his love and help. I say trust in prayer and trust in God. Prayer alone has seriously changed my life more than anything else. I hope you have a beautiful and blessed week. Come back and let me know your acts of kindness this week. ♥

Sunday Inspiration: The Art of saying NO!

 Hello everyone! I hope you are having a beautiful Sunday. In case you're new here, every Sunday I try to get up some kind of Spiritual post that relates to my life or to someone I know, or a situation I am facing. Its gives me a time of reflection and also gives me a chance to share with you guys maybe something that you can relate Maybe through something I say, a quote I post will lift you up and help you have a better week. :) Happy Sunday to you all.

So I think if you were to ask my husband what word I used the most would not be some curse word... nope. Not I love you... nope...instead he would probably say my most used word this past week was NO. He told me I said no to him on basically everything he asked. I really had to think about that. Really... I said no that many times? I guess I did.

It was a rather hard week in terms of health and I was probably a little more grumpy than usual but I kept thinking about what I was saying no to and why. When I finally boiled it down to the very core of why... I realized that a lot of my no's were just out of fear. I am not so good with changes and instead of keeping an open mind, trusting in my husband....I just give the one response that makes it all stop. NO! Then I am sure I followed it up with something childish like... because I said no...that's why. It sure didn't help anything. I am sure on certain nights last week, it made things worse.

I am so tired of living in fear of the unknown...other people...and situations that I don't understand. Instead of having confidence, I just kinda hide. I think it was years of acting crazy in my 20's that has made me such a little hermit now. While I love being home....I feel most comfortable here, I have to know that God's plans for my life far exceed the circumstances of my day. No matter what fears or anxieties I may have, they are just a drop in the bucket of life. There is so much more. I know that...and its time I stop being so scared all the time.

I also realized that I was saying NO! to some pretty petty things. Like my husband wanting the mesh fireplace screen closed. I wanted to see the pretty fire and he wanted to keep the house from burning down. How I was really so silly to argue over a mesh screen!? That night of the " screen argument " I realized I might not be letting my husband really fully be a husband. My stubbornness has really been taking away Scott being a husband, the man of the house. I think it has to do with my own personal trust issues but something clicked in me that night, to just let him be the man. Sounds easy but I come from a family of very strong women and we normally run the show. But I think its time that I start really letting Scott feel like the head of our family. I think in doing so it will not only help him but help me too. If I learn to trust his decisions more, maybe...just maybe....little things like the fireplace screen will not be an issue. I think I have been holding on so tight thinking that the shoe is bound to drop anytime....but after close to 11 years he is still here in the fight with me day after day. For that alone he deserves respect. I clearly am still dealing with teamwork issues. I have to remember that we are  more than two separate beings living under one roof. We are two pieces of one puzzle. On the whole neither of us easy to live with. But again its time to stop being so afraid and trust in his abilities as well as some of his decisions. Fear has taken over and I don't really know why. Maybe life has been that difficult that it has ripped away all trust I have in anything but its not something I want to continue to live with.

Each day I hope to say No! a little less and try to remember.....

I have MADE you

and I will CARRY you. 

I will SUSTAIN you 

and I will RESCUE you.
Isaiah 46:4

God understands what I am feeling and he will guide me if I am still enough to let him... to trust him and not fear his plan for my life. Each day is a new lesson...a new chance to do things better. Maybe tomorrow I won't be as afraid. I hope you have a beautiful and blessed day. 

Stay tuned for my weekly food shopping haul coming up later today! :)

Sunday Inspiration

Hello to you all! I hope you are having a great Sunday. I am not moving very fast today at all. The boys woke me up around 8am and I haven't been so pleasant.  I think what drives me nuts is they wake me up and then both of them want late morning/early afternoon naps. Its totally frustrating sometimes because I am tired... I need rest too and then after I'm up they go back to sleep!? It totally reminds me though of my grandfather because he did the same a lot of times. He would wake up the entire house super early and after we were all up, drinking coffee and complaining, he just had himself a power nap right there in the lazy boy.  I have never understood the point of waking someone up if you are just going back to sleep yourself and still don't get it. In a way I think God is saying get your butt out of the bed and spend more precious time with your family but the kicker is....the patience I need to learn in that simple process. I am a big believer in prayer. I seriously have seen it work miracles in my own life and I know that God hears everyone's prayers...not just mine but he also wants us to listen. He wants us to feel his presence and listen to the little inner God voice within us. How do I know a prayer has been answered....is a question I get a lot. Well...sometimes its simple prayers like....God I need a favor, my cat is lost and I need you to help me find him. 30 minutes later the cat is in my arms again...so I give God that credit. Other times, I don't know if a particular prayer is answered...but all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed..

He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” 

Matthew 17:20

Its not just faith in God that matters. Is the faith that he will stand beside you, guide you and carry you even if needed. Its faith that he hears your prayers and will answer them. It's faith in his timing and faith that you will be ok no matter what. 

I have the faith that God exists, hears and answers my prayers, performs miracles, and gives us everything but I sometimes get stuck in faith in current day and time. Its hard to have faith sometimes in real life but the more you have, the more armour you protect yourself with. And if you need a little more armour...I found this cute Emergency contact numbers that might guide you too! 

I hope you have a beautiful and blessed Sunday! I have the boys to have fun with so no telling what the day has in store! I should be back in a bit with our weekly food shopping haul and grocery day prep video! 

Sunday Inspiration & a Married Life Post ♥

Hello friends! Happy Sunday to you all. I hope you all are a little more rested with the extra hour of sleep we all got. I woke up at 10am which did make me feel better. Scott and Jackson even seemed transformed from just 1 extra hour of sleep. They have already been out and now home bouncing around the house in such happy moods. Seeing them both home and happy makes me :) inside and out. Its been a complicated time in our home for various reasons but the main reason is dealing with the challenges of Scott working so much. I haven't really been enjoying the single life time while he has been working his ass off. But I am slowly learning to deal with it. 

I felt like over the years I have got use to to Scott's long hours. It's just part of the car business but to be honest with you all.... I am still not there 100%. But each day I am trying to practice a more positive attitude about it. Here are a couple of the things that have made today a little easier. It's still not a foolproof of staying happy while my husband is gone a lot. But it helps. And I am sure on a day when I am mad as ever, I can look back on this blog post and remind myself that it's not all bad. Sometimes, I need reminders too. 


Talk..Talk.. Talk... if your husband is gone a lot like mine is, talking is about the most important things you can do to. Thankfully Scott doesn't travel for work much anymore but but texting and talking just keeps the relationship alive. There are times when its not all happy conversations but I don't think we have gone more than 2 hours of not talking during our entire 11 years of being together. I make it a point to call when I want or need. Gone are the days of not calling people who are working. I remember being little and my grandmother saying she would never ever call my grandfather at work unless it was a emergency. We are past that here in 2014. We can basically call whomever whenever which works out well for us. I need to talk to my husband each day. He needs to talk to me. Sometimes it's simply hearing each others voices on long lonely days that make us feel connected. 

Getting Pissed Off.....we all do it. I am slowly learning that there is no point in being upset that he is there and I am here. He has to work....and I have to deal with it. I can choose to stay upset about his long work hours but what's that going to do... Keep me upset and still my joy of the day. Yea.. no thanks. I can still have a wonderful beautiful day regardless. 

The Grass is not Greener.  When I posted this video I had so many of you guys reminded me that the grass is never greener on the otherside. Its green because of the work and care you put into it. So looking around at other relationships and comparing them is not helpful. To have a good marriage/relationship you have to do the work. Simple as that. 

Be Thankful for a Hard Worker....so many women wish they had a man who would go out and work hard for their family. I have that. I have to appreciate the job and appreciate his long hours because I know he is doing it for us...his family. 

Teamwork... .Yep, and I suck at it. I think realizing this year for the first time ever that I am honestly not a team player has been life changing to me. Sure, I probably knew this inside for years but realizing it totally effects my marriage was life altering. There is no I or me, but a we. It will be hard...love brought you together but it will not keep you together. Compromises have to be made but God will never put more on you than you can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13).  

First 5....When he does finally walk through the door, we try really hard to have the first 5 minutes to ourselves. We might know what is going on with each other through our daily calls but just taking a couple minutes to give each other our full attention sets the mood for the rest of the night. 

Make yourself Happy. A couple years ago, I was waiting on my husband to get home from a long day at the office so we could go out to a planned dinner. He was running so late. I sat around angry because each moment that passed, my rumbling stomach kept reminding me that he was late and I was very hungry. It was like a lightbulb moment. I had become to complacent and really expected him to take care of feeding me. Seriously? He actually came home and was too tired to go out. So at 10pm I was digging in the frig for something to eat, mad as ever at him but looking back I feel like an idiot but in that moment, I realized that no one else on this planet was going to take care of my needs except myself. I have a lot of times on my hands during the day and it is totally up to me to make my day as amazing as possible. No one else on the planet can do that for you. You have to make yourself happy...plain and simple. For me that is blogging, making videos, talking to friends, working around the house, and so much more. I get to do do those things every day because he is a hard worker and because I know that no one else is going to find my daily entertainment except myself. 

Time Together Shows you Care...Now I can't promise anyone that it's not going to be hard if your significant other works a lot. It will be. Even with the things mentioned above, I still find myself getting upset about Scott not being here as much as I would like. I do try to remind myself that he is here in spirit and he will be back. For 11 years now he has always walked back through the door. Sometimes it's just a waiting game.....which is the very essence of the Dealership world. They sell sell sell....and will stay open as long as they have customers. Period. I hate it. I hate it because it takes the man I love away from his family, it messes with our intimate time, it makes feel lonely but all that is temporary. I try to keep the faith for the times that we will have together and try to focus on how to make those times better. I can't promise it will ever be easy....but give it to God and know that you are not alone. I hear from many wives that they go bed alone, wake up alone, shop alone, and have basically allowed their husbands to put them on the back burner and don't know how to fix it. Well I am a big believer that you teach people how to treat you. So you have to slowly change things for the better. I have wanted out so many times through the 11 years of our relationship but I am still here. Trying to wander down the path of marriage which is complicated, great, and hard all at the same time. For me, the ring around his finger is not enough evidence of commitment. Time shared together is what shows me he actually cares. We are trying to carve out time just for us, to find a balance, to receive and give human contact, which is hard in this busy life. But making the time is the first step to getting that together time we all so desperately want. 

Remember God above everything else. No one really thinks of me as a religious person. I was born into a dual christianity life. Part of the family are Catholics and the other part are Baptist. I am neither. I am a child of God and that's enough for me. God knows when you are feeling lonely. A lot of times I tend to act out in anger, jealousy, hurt, but the only true comfort I have had has been by letting it go and giving to God. He stands with the widow, the fatherless and the lonely. He is there for all of us in every moment. 

Scott and I talk all the time about God and spiritual teachings. We both want to grow and become better. Try to bring positive into your relationship with God's love and help. Bring up the conversation of God's connection in your relationship and see where the conversation goes. Maybe it will wake them up in a new profound way. Maybe it can help change the way they see things and do things. Just be patient and know that God is leading you. He is leading all of us. 

I hope you have a beautiful and blessed day. Don't forget to pray! Prepare your energy each day for the beauty and challenges that life will give you and have faith that God knows what's he is doing.

Sunday Inspriation

Hello friends! I hope you are having a beautiful Sunday. I woke up late today and still at 3pm I feel completely exhausted. Not such a good way to go through the day but I am trying to get as much coffee in me as possible and try to find some energy.

This has been a pretty easy week for me in a lot of ways. I am doing my best to be understanding of all the hours my husband is working but I have been a grump about it some! Its not easy. I want him to work....we need him to support our family but I miss him too. So I am trying to find some kind of balance with that alone. I am really trying to live a more God like life. However, I still have my struggles. I still get frustrated and lose my patience but each step I take is hopefully bringing me closer to acceptance and the grace I so desperately need.

I don't think you can get through this life even when trying to live God's way without having obstacles in the way. There are little moments through each of those challenging experiences where we can grow from. I think its less about the thoughts you have and more about the actions you take. I am a super great planner and normally I can execute pretty well my plans but I can't just make lists and hope life turns out the way I want it. I have to put some action into it even in the hardest of moments. I have struggled with depression for years. And before I had children, I could lay in the bed and not face the world. Now I have a children who don't let me just stay in bed upset. They have made me a survivor. Who would have guessed that 2 young children would be the best antidote for depression. Kids really are our mirrors. They show us everything about ourselves in such a clean pure way. And while they have basically saved my life many times, my goal is to get them to the point they are confident in themselves and their decisions. But it's funny that they are teaching me as much as I am teaching them. It's funny how that works out.

I think each day all we can to is our best. It's not always going to be right but if we can make the day after that even just a little better, and so on....life will balance itself out and fall in line on it's own according to God's plan. Just step forward and watch life work out. For me, my own journey has had so many mountains I had to climb, and believe me.... I still have a lot of climbing to make it to the peak..and guess what? That peak will come in my last breath. So until then, I have to learn to let problems go out as fast as they come in. And have faith that I am moving in the right direction because God is showing me. He is also showing you too. Each day we have the power to gain more peace, wisdom and faith. Don't waste it.