I felt like over the years I have got use to to Scott's long hours. It's just part of the car business but to be honest with you all.... I am still not there 100%. But each day I am trying to practice a more positive attitude about it. Here are a couple of the things that have made today a little easier. It's still not a foolproof of staying happy while my husband is gone a lot. But it helps. And I am sure on a day when I am mad as ever, I can look back on this blog post and remind myself that it's not all bad. Sometimes, I need reminders too.
Talk..Talk.. Talk... if your husband is gone a lot like mine is, talking is about the most important things you can do to. Thankfully Scott doesn't travel for work much anymore but but texting and talking just keeps the relationship alive. There are times when its not all happy conversations but I don't think we have gone more than 2 hours of not talking during our entire 11 years of being together. I make it a point to call when I want or need. Gone are the days of not calling people who are working. I remember being little and my grandmother saying she would never ever call my grandfather at work unless it was a emergency. We are past that here in 2014. We can basically call whomever whenever which works out well for us. I need to talk to my husband each day. He needs to talk to me. Sometimes it's simply hearing each others voices on long lonely days that make us feel connected.
Getting Pissed Off.....we all do it. I am slowly learning that there is no point in being upset that he is there and I am here. He has to work....and I have to deal with it. I can choose to stay upset about his long work hours but what's that going to do... Keep me upset and still my joy of the day. Yea.. no thanks. I can still have a wonderful beautiful day regardless.
The Grass is not Greener. When I posted this video I had so many of you guys reminded me that the grass is never greener on the otherside. Its green because of the work and care you put into it. So looking around at other relationships and comparing them is not helpful. To have a good marriage/relationship you have to do the work. Simple as that.
Be Thankful for a Hard Worker....so many women wish they had a man who would go out and work hard for their family. I have that. I have to appreciate the job and appreciate his long hours because I know he is doing it for us...his family.
Teamwork... .Yep, and I suck at it. I think realizing this year for the first time ever that I am honestly not a team player has been life changing to me. Sure, I probably knew this inside for years but realizing it totally effects my marriage was life altering. There is no I or me, but a we. It will be hard...love brought you together but it will not keep you together. Compromises have to be made but God will never put more on you than you can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). First 5....When he does finally walk through the door, we try really hard to have the first 5 minutes to ourselves. We might know what is going on with each other through our daily calls but just taking a couple minutes to give each other our full attention sets the mood for the rest of the night.
Make yourself Happy. A couple years ago, I was waiting on my husband to get home from a long day at the office so we could go out to a planned dinner. He was running so late. I sat around angry because each moment that passed, my rumbling stomach kept reminding me that he was late and I was very hungry. It was like a lightbulb moment. I had become to complacent and really expected him to take care of feeding me. Seriously? He actually came home and was too tired to go out. So at 10pm I was digging in the frig for something to eat, mad as ever at him but looking back I feel like an idiot but in that moment, I realized that no one else on this planet was going to take care of my needs except myself. I have a lot of times on my hands during the day and it is totally up to me to make my day as amazing as possible. No one else on the planet can do that for you. You have to make yourself happy...plain and simple. For me that is blogging, making videos, talking to friends, working around the house, and so much more. I get to do do those things every day because he is a hard worker and because I know that no one else is going to find my daily entertainment except myself.
Time Together Shows you Care...Now I can't promise anyone that it's not going to be hard if your significant other works a lot. It will be. Even with the things mentioned above, I still find myself getting upset about Scott not being here as much as I would like. I do try to remind myself that he is here in spirit and he will be back. For 11 years now he has always walked back through the door. Sometimes it's just a waiting game.....which is the very essence of the Dealership world. They sell sell sell....and will stay open as long as they have customers. Period. I hate it. I hate it because it takes the man I love away from his family, it messes with our intimate time, it makes feel lonely but all that is temporary. I try to keep the faith for the times that we will have together and try to focus on how to make those times better. I can't promise it will ever be easy....but give it to God and know that you are not alone. I hear from many wives that they go bed alone, wake up alone, shop alone, and have basically allowed their husbands to put them on the back burner and don't know how to fix it. Well I am a big believer that you teach people how to treat you. So you have to slowly change things for the better. I have wanted out so many times through the 11 years of our relationship but I am still here. Trying to wander down the path of marriage which is complicated, great, and hard all at the same time. For me, the ring around his finger is not enough evidence of commitment. Time shared together is what shows me he actually cares. We are trying to carve out time just for us, to find a balance, to receive and give human contact, which is hard in this busy life. But making the time is the first step to getting that together time we all so desperately want.
Remember God above everything else. No one really thinks of me as a religious person. I was born into a dual christianity life. Part of the family are Catholics and the other part are Baptist. I am neither. I am a child of God and that's enough for me. God knows when you are feeling lonely. A lot of times I tend to act out in anger, jealousy, hurt, but the only true comfort I have had has been by letting it go and giving to God. He stands with the widow, the fatherless and the lonely. He is there for all of us in every moment.
Scott and I talk all the time about God and spiritual teachings. We both want to grow and become better. Try to bring positive into your relationship with God's love and help. Bring up the conversation of God's connection in your relationship and see where the conversation goes. Maybe it will wake them up in a new profound way. Maybe it can help change the way they see things and do things. Just be patient and know that God is leading you. He is leading all of us.
I hope you have a beautiful and blessed day. Don't forget to pray! Prepare your energy each day for the beauty and challenges that life will give you and have faith that God knows what's he is doing.
