Belated Tuesday Truths

Hello friends! I am back with a new edition of Tuesday Truths. Yes, I know it's Wednesday. :/ I am just getting caught up. Hope you enjoy! 

- I have just not picked up my camera this week. Not sure why except I just wanted the break and a little more privacy. I'll try to get a video recorded today. 

- The teenagers kept me woke me up 3 times last night and then they were in our bedroom at 5am. Yea...time for a big come to Jesus talk later this afternoon....when they wake up of course! 

- I have a long to do list for today. That's how my days off go. Life is different now and I have to balance my time in a different kind of way. 

- I am so sick of seeing and hearing about Trump. What a complete joke. I hope God can forgive me for all the ill things for Trump that I dream up everyday. 

- My ex-sister in law is still one of the biggest bitches I have ever encountered. Seriously, she belongs in the zoo. She likes to speculate, spy, and make up random lies about me and my family. I don't care what she says, writes or does. I know how she is...and I know her brother loved me and our family until drugs got the best of him. Thank God I never gave her any of his ashes. She has no respect for her family, me, or even herself. I wish she would just act like a lady. However, in order for that to happen she would have had to be raised like a lady and just did not happen.

- I broke a tooth off last Thursday and had to take my butt to the dentist last Friday. The gas they gave me took me into another world. It really helped me not feel the pain. But after it wore off, I could certainly feel everything. 

- Brittany has been in Texas the last few days. She went down with her best friend and her family. She just travels all around. I hate when she is in the air flying. I am so happy she came home yesterday. 

- I have to call the health insurance company later today. Dreading...dreading...dreading. 

- My apartment is finally feeling and looking like an actual home. I don't want to be here forever but right now, I am loving how it's looking. It feels kind of weird knowing its really MY space. I am just learning to live again. It's not perfect but it's home and I am starting to like it more. 

- Speaking of the apartment, I need to get new cleaning routines in place again. I think I will just go back to the flylady system. She has a fun phone app that I am learning. It's amazing how her methods have worked for my life since I was in my early 20's. Thank you flylady. ♥

- My mom is traveling around the US in a big truck with  a huge beautiful camper. What a nice thing to do. I am so happy for her and Don. I hope they make a ton of great memories. 

- We need a bedroom lock on our door. I keep saying it but I have yet to put one on. But it's happening this week. 

- I have been racking my brain on how to get a different car. I am thinking about just working on hard on saving up and buying one outright. Then what do I do with it? Let it go back to the bank? That's great for my credit. Actually with Scott dying and all the past old bills of his falls on me and my credit so thinking about filing a bankruptcy. Maybe that would be the best thing to do and it probably would take care of the car I am driving. 

- Ryan gave me money for my birthday. One of the things I did was go get my nails done. I just am not that crazy about the kind of nails they put on. I guess I will just have to live with it till they grow out some. I still love the way they look and I love the nail salon. However, I rarely get color. I prefer the American Manicure. It doesn't stand out so much and looks more natural. 

- I need to clean out the bedroom closet today. Don't really want to do it but it's happening as well as the frig. * sigh

- I think I am going to get a gym membership and find a trainer. It's something I have been wanting to do for a long time. And we have a couple of gyms really close to the house. So hopefully I work that in soon. 

- I had the weirdest facebook message from a complete stranger asking if I am dating someone named Don Phillips. Ummmm. HELL NO. His name is Ryan and I don't really like strange messages. I think she must be confused. 

- I need to take a big chunk of time and energy no less, to groom the cats. It's a big job and I don't really enjoy it but it has to be done....soon.

- Work was really long and hard Monday and Tuesday. I did a lot and having today off is a blessing. So happy to not be thinking about food!

I hope you all have a wonderful day! I'll be back soon. xx

Tuesday Truths

Good Morning Friends. It's Tuesday so that means it's another edition of Tuesday Truths. Hope you enjoy! 

- Yesterday I ran so much after work. It was after 9pm before I finally settled down at home. I was so tired but I just kept going. 

- The late nights and early mornings is catching up with me. I totally need more sleep. I know I have to get to bed earlier to feel better in the mornings....so why can't I just do it?

- Ryan and I are thinking about just going to Nashville instead of Savanna. The weather is not good anywhere and it's so cold to be going on vacation. But we just want some away and alone time. I honestly can't wait. 

- I hate people who pull out in front of me when there is no one behind me. It happens a lot and frustrates me to no end. 

- Sometimes my kids are the worst at returning my phone calls. It drives me crazy and I have thought about turning them off but that kinda defeats the purpose. * teenagers. 

- I miss having a dog. I keep thinking about eventually getting a puppy. But I want to get out of this apartment first.

- I am still not liking my car one bit and I need to figure out a way out of it. I just need to save a few thousand dollars and find something with no payment. Then I guess, give the car back or try to sell it. It's just too big. 

- It snowed here yesterday and I haven't been outside yet today. I have no idea how cold it actually feels but the heat kicked on a lot last night. I hate the cold. Grocery shopping in it was awful. Running errands was awful because of the cold but it was still magical. Every time it snows, I always think of my grandma Mary. She loved the snow. I don't love how it feels but I do love watching it come down. 

- Still can't stand Donald Trump. I just cannot believe what he is doing to our country in such a short amount of time. I will try to not be so mean about it but it truly makes me sick. 

- We have been house hunting for Laura and it's been so hard. I just want her to find something safe, within her budget and close. It's harder than one might think. 

- I hung out with my cousin for a while last night and really enjoyed it. Again....it's why I moved to Indiana. And we never got to hang out much before and now she is another vital person in my support system. 

- Ryan's ex still texts him...in my opinion she's just desperate for attention from him. I just let it go because he's in my bed at night and clearly loves me. Sometimes you just have to realize who you are dealing with. 

- My back has really been hurting this week. Just another part of growing older I guess. 

- There are still some days when I wake up and not recognize my own life. Who would have thought so much would change? The biggest part of it is I am still here going through each day. God has graced me with more time and I don't want to take it for granted. 

- I finally made it to the grocery store yesterday after work. Thankfully Ryan and Maekenzie were here to help bring them up. I really appreciated the help. 

- I need a new show to watch on netflix or amazon. Any suggestions?

-  Thanks for stopping by today! Later this afternoon I will be back to post a new food haul. Be sure to come back and check it out. Have a great day! 

 

Tuesday Truths

Hello friends! I hope you are getting a good start to your day. Here is another edition of Tuesday Truths. Hope you enjoy. 

Tuesday Truths

:: I am actually doing so many of the things I was scared of. Life didn't give me the choice to forever hide. Ive had to just feel it and move through it. I am not in a relationship where I am fighting all the time anymore. I am not home wishing I could find a way to interact with more people. I am not scared of finding a job that I actually enjoy. I have walked through so many fears since July of last year and I feel so much stronger now. Sometimes facing your biggest fears sets you free. 

:: It still hurts when I hear someone is pregnant or a cute baby comes into the restaurant. I know many of you have experienced a miscarriage and I know I'm not alone in the pain that comes from having one. It's on my mind more than anyone knows.

:: Ryan got this huge tv. I am not so fond of it. I don't watch as much tv anymore and when I do I just don't need such a big tv. It's big and super loud. However, he works hard and he is truly enjoying it. I guess it's just a man thing! :)

:: The laundry guy messed up the laundry really badly this week. It takes a lot of work for laundry right now. I either have to haul it up and down the stairs to the laundry area here at the apartments. Or we drop it off. And on busy weeks, Ryan doesn't mind helping to pay to have it done. It's nice when everything comes back clean, hung up or folded and smelling good. However this week, it was a little more complicated. Gotta find a new place to take them until I get the little apartment washer. More about that later.

:: My ankle has really been hurting. It drives me crazy. It makes my days at work even harder when its cramping and aching. I seriously need to get to the Dr and get all the scar tissue removed. Its messing with my life too much. I feel like it's time I really focus on my own body, mind and soul A LOT more. I am doing everything I can to keep my head above water with the kids, bills, appointments, family gatherings and I have to take better care of myself. I just have to put myself back on the to do list.

:: I am not liking the idea of giving the teenagers keys to the apartment. I just worry a lot about it so I think I am going to get some cameras installed. I just see so much potential for bad things to happen. I like the idea of being home when they are! I guess I just have to try to trust that they will do the right thing.

:: I need to go shopping and buy some new clothes. Maybe I will do some thrifting to save some money. However, Khols does have some amazing sales!

:: So my mom and Don are basically selling everything from their big fancy house, cars, furniture....all of it. Buying a big duly truck and rv and travling the US for a long while. I think my mom will really enjoy it. And she is coming here for a few weeks too. Jackson is planning on going to the grand canon with them. I think it's a great idea for them. :) Sounds like an adventure!

:: Feeling like it's time to give up soft drinks again. I just don't know why the yellow food dye and high fructose syrup make me so happy but it does. But I know I need more water and less Mt. Dew.

:: I miss Cooper. I hate that there are people out there who just don't know how to do the right thing even if it smacked them upside the head. I have lost 2 golden retrievers to 2 marriages. Never again.

:: I have been asked a few times why I picked up Scott's ashes so let me set the record straight. Like it or not, we were still married when he passed away. I wasn't allowed in the hospital, I stayed away from the small service his sister had. I felt like he belonged with me and his daughter. I don't think his sister had any business to ashes of her brother. She was not his wife or child. I picked them up because we spent a lot of time together. I loved him. Yes, we were separated but that does not change the fact that he was someone who I loved and who loved me for many years. He simply didn't belong with Trina.

:: A new mascara of mine is missing. I know that's crazy but it's seriously gone. I guess it just fluttered itself to some other lashes to coat. Grrrrrrrrrr.

:: The smile lines around the corners of Ryan's eyes I love. He's always been a funny guy who cuts up a lot and messes around. To be he looks better with them than when he was young.

:: This week Donald Trump is moving forward with plans to kill National Endowment for the Arts, PBS and NPR. Also Feds will step up marijuana law enforcement soon as well. This man is such a mess. His approval rating right now is a low 44%. I think people are finally starting to realize the mistake they made. I am so embarrassed, disappointed and shocked by who is in the White House. I don't even watch CNN as much because I can listen to Trump bullshit all the time. No Thanks.

:: I spent some time with just Brittany and Jackson this past Sunday. I wish they got a long better. I hope that their attitudes towards one another will change and become better as they get older. It breaks my heart to see them not get along.

:: Last night I came home and passed out. I mean I just walked straight in the door and went right for the bed. Early mornings ware me out. Thankfully Ryan cooked dinner and I was lucky enough to wake up to the house smelling amazing and dinner on the table. Thank you sweetheart.

:: Laura and I have been struggling to find her suitable childcare. It's so hard. Jerred is away working and she has the kids all the time. They all have different schedules. Finding someone to work the hours she needs has been challenging. We just want to find someone safe and good with the kids who is dependable. Such a hard task.

:: I really want to go to church. Ryan said he would like to go too.  However, my best serving days and hardest are Saturday and Sunday's. I'm not sure how I will deal with that but maybe it will just be Joel Osteen on Sunday afternoons for us. Or maybe Wednesday evenings or something.

:: Yesterday I was lucky enough to find the missing movie. Yea!!!!!!! We had looked everywhere and it ended up being on the top of the refrigerator. And then I forgot to take it back after work yesterday. It is heading out the door with me today so I can stop paying late fees.

:: I really need to sit down and make some phone calls. I have 6 voicemails that need to be called back. Still trying to find more hours in the day and better balance. Maybe later today I can get to a few of them.

:: Its super early. I have to walk out the door in few minutes for work. I hope you guys have a great day. I can't wait to get in front of the camera and make a new video. I promise things will pick up on youtube and here on the blog. Thanks for all the support and love. xx

 

Tuesday Truths

 - Yesterday was really long and hard at work. When the shift is over, I just want to run right out of there. However, yesterday it took longer to get out of there and it totally sucked.

- I am not sure why the men in my life all love Ancient Aliens. I admit, sometimes it's interesting but a lot of nights, it totally puts me to sleep!

- The cooler mornings are interesting. I am up and out super early and I do really enjoy being cold. Somehow, Someway, I just have to figure out how to deal with it.

- I have been loving all the new friends I have been making. It's strange if you would have told me this would be my life a year ago, I would have thought you were crazy. But I think I am exactly where I need to be and around who I need to be around in this exact moment.

- I really miss the cats and dog. I don't think a new puppy will change that either. But when I move, I am for sure getting a dog. I feel lost without one and it's something/a goal that I am looking forward to accomplishing.

- Internet still sucks. But it doesn't really matter. I am so tired at the end of the day, I just don't feel like making videos. Hopefully I can make a few in the same day to make it easier. I just need to get to that point. Sorry.  I have reviews I need to get working on. I have so many videos in my brain. I just need a little more space....a most importantly time.

- I have a ton of voicemails to check. Yep... not something I do very often. Might want to text instead friends and family.

- I haven't been eating all that healthy but I sure have been losing weight. I have been getting in over 5 miles a day and it's paying off in how my clothes feel. I guess a divorce and new job is bound to help any woman lose weight. And I don't so much mind!

- My fitbit is still saving my life. I looooove it. I love all the information it gives me and I love the silent alarms that wake me each morning. Follow Along: Kisha Jaggers. And for those of you who have asked. Yes I wear it all the time and charge it nightly when I am in the shower.

- Ex Husband News → still a loser. Not understanding how the divorce worked out. He is suppose to pay $500 on the 1st & 15th. And this is too hard for him. Hes not making the kind of money he use to make ( idiot should and can go back into the car business anytime he wants. ), I'm a bitch, he only makes 490 a week....yada yada yada. Supposedly the stolen iphone he took from me is now off. ( Bullshit ) and he hates me. All just EXCUSES. I guess we just have to go back to court and he can cry to the judge all while paying my attorney fees. What an asshole. Sister in law still a know it all who actually doesn't know what the hell she is ever talking about. * Nothing new there.

- Russell did laundry today and I couldn't have been more grateful. I bitched, moaned and groaned most of the evening. Body hurt, tired and grumpy. Thankfully he was able to put a smile on my face along with helping out with a lot of the things that needed done around here. I swear he really has been a big help, comfort and love since all this has happened.

- I am in the middle of the woods and my worst fear right now is hitting a deer in the mornings...and evenings. I see them all the time. Makes me nervous as hell.

- I am so proud of my kids. I don't think I have been the best mom but somehow in despite of me, they are amazing. I am blessed because of them and I don't take it for granted at all.

- The bed in this camper is seriously one of the softest beds I have ever slept on. Its like a big soft feather bed that I snuggle right down in. Looking forward to my next day off when I can stay in it a little longer. But I never sleep in that late anymore and that sucks!

- The coffee this morning smells amazing. Time for another cup! I think I have an addiction to coffee at this point. Those little folgers tea bags work great for us and they actually make amazing cups of coffee.

- Gabby is in desperate need of a bath. A task I don't really want to do after a long day at work but I think it might just be happening later this evening. Or not... but sometime soon.

- Life is still a bit challenging for me. I am still settling into a life I was not expecting. I wish I would have been more prepared. For me, I just didn't plan on things ending. I really didn't. Do any of us really go into or stay in a relationship that we are sure it's going to end? No I don't think so. But it would have been smarter to have planned out some security for myself. Gotta learn from my mistakes for sure. I am not scared any longer. That's been a blessing on it's own. I am smiling more. Feeling more confident as I move through each day. I am allowed to have hard days....sad days....but I am just not allowed to give up.

Thank you guys for stopping by. Feel free to let me know how your day is going....have a great day!  See ya soon. xx

Tuesday Talks & Truths

Hello friends. I hope you are getting along well with your day.....here's another edition of Tuesday Truths. Hope you enjoy. 

I seriously hurt my ankle. I am walking on it so I doubt its broke but standing up for hours on end yesterday was not easy. But I did it and I am still alive. If it gets much worse I might go to the ER or something but so far, I am doing ok...not great but ok. 

My soon to be ex is back at throwing me in jail for God knows what. He's the reason I have hated my life for years. I wish he would just permanently go away. Thank you God for not giving us any children together. I have no idea what is wrong with him. No morals. No soul. Just plain evil. And now I understand why all his ex's hate him. It's easy to do.

I have been getting in a ton of steps according to my fitbit. I really hope with this divorce, not eating as much, working...and hopefully working out soon will help the pounds fall off. I can't do anything right now with my messed up ankle but I am going to sink in sometime just for me and my health. 

The kids start school in just a couple days. It's insane how early they go back here. Brittany and Jackson are both at Arts right now. Heartbreaking but true. Another reason I am so disgusted by the  man who just left my life. But we will be fine. He's not that powerful but it's hurts that she is not here. However, the kids are amazing and doing great. 

Many of you have asked how Cooper is doing. Honestly, I have no idea. It's painful to think about so once I am in the right position, I will a new puppy. I am Cooper is fine. And if he's not....it's not my issue any longer. Thank you for all your doggy l♥ve. 

The weather here has been so hot. I mean seriously hot here. I have been doing a lot of hiking and enjoying nature but it about killed me. I was a sweaty mess and had to take a cool shower as soon as I got back to the house. I think it is suppose to cool down soon so all I need is for my ankle to get better and I will be back at it! 

I am trying to take the high road here lately. I want this marriage over and behind me. I think games are being played because my ex is hurt which is confusing to me. He wanted this. This was his choice and now that he rolled the dice the game isn't ending as he expected. That's ok. He will find his own way and I am going to go my way. And honest to God I have fought with this man for way to many years. I just want it over. He can be cruel. Just like Michelle Obama said last night... he goes low, I am going to go high. He's a terrible role model to his kids, to his family. I hope he gets help before it's too late. Isn't it true that crazy people don't know they are crazy? I think that might be what we are dealing with. I just need to go on and keep being happy. It's odd but it's so true. 

I am slowly getting back to the recording videos. It's not easy to get on camera when I am dealing with so much but all your comments on this video have been so eye opening. YOU saw a change that not even I knew. Many of you have said that I seem so much happier. Thank you. I am! I'll record a video soon with a new update. 

My soon to be ex sister in law is acting a fool on her facebook and blog. I am sure her 5 followers will really care. God...some people just don't know when to shut the hell up. I think the entire family needs duct tape around their mouths. 

I took the most amazing long back last night. It was so relaxing. I have been doing so good waking up early. I sleep better now and I really truly appreciate that. I have been springing out of the bed happy each morning and ready to face the day. No one can really hurt me. The worst has already been done and everything else can be fixed. 

I want to take a vacation. Maybe some camping trips on the weekends but I think I am going to save for Hawaii. I want a post divorce trip to a beautiful exotic place. It's a new goal. Maybe in 6 months or so. Never know. :) I also think Jekyll

Island in Georgia would be a nice little trip as well.

I have really been enjoying a lot of my older friends since getting home. This is exactly where I need to be and I am so grateful for it. When going through something like this, you find out who really is loving, loyal and caring...and who's not. 

I plan on checking the PO Box today sometime. Thank you in advance for anything you sent. So many of you asked for it and from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Your cards and letters have been so amazing. I am responding right back so feel free to use it anytime. 

Also I have a ton of messages and comments that I still need to respond to. I have less time now and there are just so many. Sooooooo......I am just doing the best I can with it. I read everything. Thank you for taking the time to comment on any of my social network platforms. I love you guys. You have given me great advice and I will forever treasure it. 

I have been talking to my first son's father. So many of you had questions about him. We met when we were still riding bikes and separated when I was 23. I wanted to get married and he was no near that point at that time. We are basically best friends. I kinda want more but right now we are just going to take things slow so I can finish up this last married life chapter. I respect him. I love him. And he makes me laugh. I am glad so many of you liked him and said he was a better fit for me. I think so too. I should thank my ex for running out. Probably the best thing he has ever done for me. And right now the universe has brought back an old love in my life. I am excited about the future. :)

My best friend has been put through hell with my ex calling and texting her all the time. She is such a good person. I would be lost without her. She is always looking out for me. 

The Democratic National Convention was inspiring last night. Ha! No more fucking republicans in my bed. No way. I would rather slit my own throat first. Another bonus to getting divorced! 

I think I am letting Romeo go. Yea. It's probably the best thing. I am not 1000% sure yet but it's in my mind right now. Where I am going, it's probably not best for him. I might be wrong. I just have to put some thought and prayer into it. I love that cat like no other but I don't really see a way around it. I plan on keeping Gabby no matter what. I am tearing up right now. I just don't know. 

My mom is doing great. She is making a ton of money training dogs of all things. She's great at it and it got me thinking. I might just have to follow her lead up here. We'll see. I am so proud of her. Someone just flew her to Florida for a weeks worth of training of their puppy and are paying her over 1k. OVER. Good job mom! 

I have a lot to do in the coming days. I will do my best to check in. Be sure to find me on instagram and follow along for more photos and updates! xx

Late Night Tuesday Truths

Hello everyone. It's late here...actually it's technically Wednesday. But since it's not Wednesday on the west coast....we are going with it! :) Here's another edition of Tuesday Truths. Hope you enjoy! 

:: My cats are fighting right now. They are running through the house....hissing, meowing and screeching like it's the middle of the afternoon. I guess their power naps paid off! 

:: I have done my best to not complain since moving here but yesterday we got a $225 sewer bill. Our water bill is separate and was $100 for the same time period. What the hell is a sewer bill I ask you!? In SC we only had a water bill that covered it all and it never costs us anything like this. And then I try to call them only to realize these nice sewer people get off work at 430. Fancy that. I am forsure calling tomorrow and finding out what this is all about....plus I want to know why in the world it's that high. I understand the water bill but not that sewer bill. I just imagine in my head that we are flushing the toilets too much! hahahahaha! Idk but I am going to figure this sewer mess out. 

:: Scott is clearly having problems sleeping tonight. He choose the couch because he is tossing and turning so much. He's awake right now flopping around. I feel sorry for him. Sleep is hard for me but not usually due to pain. :(

:: I had a nice walk early in the day only to buy Long John Silvers. Makes sense right? I thought so. 

:: Zane doesn't start football for a couple of weeks. For the past week or so he has spent a lot of time on the xbox and internet.....driving his dad crazy. I think we just want them all to have the childhood that we did. We played outside. We were not in the house watching tv or playing on electronics when the sun was shining. We weren't up our parents butt's all the time either. It's just not really that way with our kids. But we are trying to change that a little at a time. 

::  I am learning how to really communicate what I am feeling and thinking without hesitation. It's been kinda fun just saying how I feel and not making any excuses about it. When I say no, I mean it...and I feel good inside knowing I am speaking my truth. It might piss them off but not me! 

:: Summer TV has been totally sucking. I wish all the new seasons of all my favorite shows would come back on...soon very soon. 

:: Have I mentioned how much I hate doing my nails? It's always a hassle. But I hate spending all that time...money too at nail salons. I just have to get better at it I guess. 

::  Yesterday I had to remind the kids of the chores again...which is 2 chores per day for Brittany and Zane and Jackson only has one chore a week because he's at his dads most of the time. Well with that friendly reminder to take out the overflowing trash and emptying the dishwasher they also got a warning. If I have to remind them to do those simple tasks, they will have to remind me to turn on their data or turn on the internet here in the house. And I won't be in any kind of hurry. And again, I said it with a smile on my face. :)

:: More terror attacks in Turkey tonight. 50 dead and 147 wounded.  I don't understand this world. And it scares me to know that one day I won't be here to protect my kids and family. 

:: I got an email from what I suspect was a troll listing out all the things that they didn't like about me. Bhahahahaha Yea ok. What do they think I will do. Change everything they mentioned? No way in hell am I doing that. Instead they got a very sweet email back thanking them for taking the time to write me. Again....the art of  " bitchcraft " happening in full force here lately. Most of the time I am a loose cannon with my mouth. No one knows what to do when I don't react like I normally would. Don't get me wrong....I still have all those thoughts in my head but they are not coming out of my mouth. 

:: I miss Jackson. I know he is happy at his dads. He is getting more mature and growing up so fast. Tomorrow today is soccer practice! :) 

:: I am already talking to Scott about how this next school year ( starting July 27 ) is going to be. Lots of driving. Lots of sports activities. I am a little nervous about driving in winter but Scott said he would handle the driving on those days. It scares me to think about driving the roads when they are snowy and icy. No thank you. I will totally be a winter hermit as much as possible! 

:: I am still loving my bullet journal. I did have to switch out of the grey one because a accident happened and coffee got spilt and it soaked through the pages. Thanks kitty cats....I still love you though! And maybe it was for the best anyway. 

:: I have been drinking a little apple cider vinegar everyday. It's harsh some mornings but I find drinking it in warm water...not hot but warm with a little lemon is a bit easier. I drink it fast to get it in me so I can move on to coffee. I'll probably make a video soon explaining it all soon. From what I understand there are lots of health benefits. It can't hurt so I added it into my morning routine. 

:: My hair is at that weird state. It's not so easy growing out an angled bob. It's all different lengths and it's starting to wing out in the back some but I'm dealing with it. Today I just let it do it's own thing....which looked crazy. Thankfully my hair tends to grow fast. 

:: We are having a cookout over the weekend and I never got the invitations made so I guess it's going to be by phone! I am so happy we can be home with our kids and family. If just all the kids were here, I would be so happy. However, Jackson and my ex husband have plans. Grrrrrrrrrrr.  Maybe I will just switch it to Saturday instead of Sunday and he can come....great idea! 

::  I am walking Cooper....starving him basically ( from what his expressions show ) and I don't making a bit of difference. He's going to be 9 in December and I just hate to do this to him in the last years of his life. But I know it's for the best....but it makes me feel awful. 

Thank you guys for stopping by! I might be late with this post but at least I got it done and published! :) I'll see ya soon with a new video! xx

Tuesday Talks & Truths

Happy Tuesday friends. I am back sharing a new edition of Tuesday Truths. Hope you enjoy! 

:: I woke up so sleepy/tired today. It wasn't easy climbing out of the bed and it would be so nice to climb right back in it right now. It seems like a great day to climb back in bed and and dream the day away. I doubt that will actually happen though. 

:: Someone I love was hurt last night...and it makes me sad and angry all at the same time. 

:: Today is the day I figure out where all my old tickets are, how much they are going to cost to pay and how to finally take care of all the shit affecting my drivers license. No fun but it's time to get it handled. I was told my license is good here in Indiana but just expired. Yea!! I just got a few tickets to pay in SC and I should be good to go. I hate all these hassles but it's past time to take care of it. 

:: My husband snores. It's just what it is and sleeping is much harder now. We are both waking each other up all the time. I hope when school starts we all start getting on the same schedule. It's been so hard sharing a room again but we keep trying. I know this is a big deal for some people out there but honestly....I wish they would mind their own business. Scott and I make the decisions in our home. No one else. 

:: Loving that Trump fired his campaign manager. I hope he just fades away. I am so sick of hearing his redrick and bullshit. I'm over it....I wish we could vote right now. 

:: I read something today that sleeping on your back is the best way to avoid wrinkles on your face and neck. I am screwed. I fall to sleep every night on my right side. EVERY NIGHT. Perfect huh? Wonder if my mom knew this and just cared to not share it with us girls but it's nice to know that sleeping can actually wreck your face. Fancy that. 

:: I have been working really hard to figure out what really makes me happy. You would think I would have it all figured out but honestly, I don't. I think I am finally happier than I have been in a long time...all because of our kids. Being home where we are all together has been such a blessing. 

:: I love having the umbrella open open outside with our patio table. However that love has made me have to replace 3 umbrellas. And guess what it' broke again. Not terribly....I think it's still ok for now but I seriously need to figure this issue out. Unless I find some kind of industrial umbrella, I guess I am just going to have to close it more. :(

:: My bullet journal is going really well. I think I might just make the first video about it today for tomorrow...that is if I can actually wake up. And yes, I know what time it is. 

:: I know I have kinda neglected my blog. It's harder now with more going on. I love it here...and will always have it. It's just not a top priority at this point. But I am working harder and trying to keep somewhat of a new schedule. And during summer it's even harder!! Just be patient with me! 

:: I hate waiting on shipments to come in. I don't have any patience....come on UPS man! 

:: I need to buy a new beauty blender like right away. Mine is so dirty.....no amount of cleaning will help! 

:: The internet has had a mind of it's own today...which is another reason this post is going live later in the afternoon....technology is amazing when it works....but when it doesn't.....it totally sucks!

:: My teenage daughter is being a little bratty today! I guess it's part of it. She's still amazing and we love her even on her grumpy days! 

:: Get this...according to a new study  found The majority of boys who view online pornography believe it provides a realistic depiction of sex. Yea...I about died reading that. I think we need to be talking to our boys more. I don't my kids thinking that is normal sex. No way. No No No. And no matter how much you protect your kids at home, doesn't mean they won't see it. Brittany told me the boys at school would have it on their phones running up and down the hallways showing it to everyone. Perfect right? I just couldn't believe it. Maybe I am just getting old but porn is on a entirely different level...that shouldn't be believed. 

:: I am having Scott pick up some premade pesto on his way home tonight....that should be an interesting scavenger hunt for him! 

:: I want to get busy on my vision board this week. I never had an actual vision board on the wall but I'm doing it and see where it gets me...can't hurt right! 

:: I had to get my epi pen out when a bee was in my room. I tried to ignore but I needed to get prepared. So sad for the little bee who wondered in. He never made it back out. It's weird...I am highly allergic to bees but not honey. I must be an alien! It's weird isn't it?

Well the day has went on. This blog post was started at 10am. Yea...so much for this day! I still think I can get everything checked off my to do list even if I am working into the evening/night. Hope you have a beautiful evening. I will hopefully be back later with a new video. xx

Tuesday Truths :)

Hello friends! I hope you are having a great evening. I am finally back sharing a new Tuesday Truths post...hope you enjoy!

- Life has got so much better in so many ways. The move took a lot out of us all but I am finally feeling settled and I am so much more happier. I feel like I sat down a huge bag of bricks. 

- Tonight I had a ton of errands. Evening errands are not my favorite but it just made me grateful for getting to this point to where I can relax now. 

- I am working hard on keeping up with my youtube schedule. I have to work on the blog post but I have tomorrows video already uploaded....which makes me so happy! 

- Scott still seems to really being enjoying his job. Still a bit nervous but I am trying to just let go of my negative thoughts....he's always taken care of us and thats what I need to remember. 

- I went to a cheer meet with Brittany last night. It was for the parents and I learned so much. I learned it very expensive....lots to do. They cheer rain or shine at every game. The cheerleader contacts the coach...not mom and dad. I learned all about the powder puff game that we all have to help out on. It was a good meeting....and I am happy that I was finally here for it. 

- Speaking of sports...Jackson is starting soccer in a couple of weeks. He's really excited and Zane is starting football in July as well. I love that all the kids are getting settled in. We are going to be so busy! The kids are really bringing me out of my shell. 

- I am still dreaming of a new GoldenDoodle puppy. I think it would be great for Cooper. I wish the yard was a bit larger with 2 dogs but I think we would do just fine! I think my mom might just get it for me instead of the piano. I think between the two the puppy would make us happier! 

- Sleeping with Scott is still hard. I wish he would just go to the Dr. He actually wakes me up out of a dead sleep with the snoring. He's not embarrassed.....but I think he is starting to realize it's really effecting his sleep...mine too! But we keep trying. Part of me feels like we are trying this because everyone else wanted it...and another part of me knows we missed each other as well. I wish there was a happy medium. 

- I really need to clean up the files on my laptop. I think that sounds like a weekend kind of job. 

- I am loving that I am not dealing with those neighbors in South Carolina any longer. I bet Oreo is running the streets again. I am sure they tossed him right out after we moved. We think about him a lot. But the neighbors here are so much nicer and respectful. That alone I am grateful for. 

- I am watching the finale of Dancing with the Stars and The Voice tonight. I think I like Dancing with the Stars the best because I get the music and dancing at the same time! I love it. Pitbull was just on...and I love him too! 

- I still haven't been to the apple store. I doubt I am going to get that video footage off....and really time has moved on since it broke. Yea....it's just not worth it. 

- Are you guys tired of hearing about Trump or Hilary? I sure am. But I would rather put my dog in the White House over Donald Trump. No. No. No. 

- My car really needs cleaned out. We are basically living in it some days..another weekend job. For Scott! 

- Scott and I have slowly been looking for furniture. We have to stick to a budget. Throwing it on a credit card is not going to happen. I think Ikea would be perfect for the kids. Besides putting it together. Same goes for my desk. The living room furniture is another story. So many decisions. 

- I talked to my younger niece today for the first time in years. She is all grown up with a beautiful baby. It felt amazing to catch up with her. Little by little we will get around to everyone we have been missing. 

- There is a new show on Amazon...Julian Fellowes Presents Doctor Thorne from the writers of Downton Abbey. I haven't watched any let but I look forward to watching the first show tonight when I am in bed...which won't be long from now. 

- Brittany has been studying all night for 2 tests tomorrow. I admit, the math looks incredibly complicated and the science is no better. Thank God she is smarter than I was. Thank God she is better than I was. All hopes and dreams are for our kids. I just want them to do good...be happy and enjoy their lives.

- I am starting to get to know the UPS guy. So nice...I wish Cooper wouldn't scare him so much! 

- I am creating a gallery wall of photos. I think I am going to stick to black and white. Trying to select them all has been hard. I am going to take up paper to make sure I have the layout right but having our favorite photos in our home really makes me happy. I have already updated some, but we have a lot online that we just have to get printed out. 

- I am dreaming of a long hot bath... and in just a few minutes that's exactly what's happening.

- The truth this Tuesday is life is good. This post is normally a snarky kind of blog post but I just don't have anything to really complain about this week. I feel blessed, happy and at peace. I hope you have a great night. xx

Tuesday Truths: Life Lately

Hello friends! I hope you are having a great Tuesday. Its been a while since I have written a Tuesday Truths blog post...or any blog post really so today you are getting Tuesday Truths and a little bit of life lately all in the same post.  Hope you enjoy! 

- Moving has really kicked my butt. We basically have most of the stuff in the house but nothing is really organized the way I want it. Who knows how long it will take to really feel settled in. One day at a time right!?

- I don't know what is going on with the weather around here. Indiana has some strange weather for sure. What I have found from my little time at home is it's either hot as hell or freezing. There has been very little in between. Last week it was very warm...very spring like. Flowers are blooming all over the neighborhood but this week it's been cold and rainy. I got a little walk in yesterday with Cooper but today it's back to raining and cold. I did so great last week when it was pretty. This week though has been a little harder. I am just not someone who wants to go outside and be cold. Yea...no thanks. Hopefully it will start to warm up soon. It is May after all. 

- Scott and I are doing our best to not live in the past with each other. It's not easy but we really are trying. It's easy to hung up on something one of us did days, weeks, months, years back. If we are going to move forward, then we need to leave our past mistakes in the past. Starting fresh sounds good to me.

- For some reason I am wanting to give this blog of mine a new spring makeover. Hummmmm....that normally ends up being hours of work to change things around. Maybe I should just make some simple changes and leave it at that. 

- I actually took a little time last night to finally paint my nails. It's been over a month since I put anything on them. With the move, they would have been chipped up so fast. It just wasn't worth it. But it felt good sitting down last night and doing a little something for myself.

- Scott has been hooked on a new show. Lucifer. Seems fitting to me but he has been binge watching for days. Since it's too wet for him to work right now, he is watching the final show to catch up. Thank goodness. It's been next to impossible to get him to watch anything else. I understand though.. I did the same thing with Frankie and Grace on Netflix for season 2. :)

- Over this past weekend my phone got broke. It totally sucked because I had a lot of vlog footage that I wanted to share with you this week. I thought everything was saved in the cloud but nope. Those settings were not right and I think everything is lost. I am considering taking it to an Apple store to see if they can do anything at all to help. Thankfully Scott took me to the phone store and got me a pretty new rose gold iphone. It took almost all of Sunday to get it set back up. It's amazing to me how important phones really are at this point. Everything important was right on it....and most of it is gone now. And guess what!? On this new pretty phone is all set up where everything is backed up. Hopefully it prevents a disaster in the future. 

- It seems like a dream that my mom was here and now gone. I really do miss her a lot. My grandmothers sister passed away last week and I actually went to the funeral. Funerals are like court for me. → I normally avoid them both. ← but this was different. It was family and it was important for me to be there. In a odd kind of way it was like a family reunion of sorts. I just wish we could have all got together under better conditions.

- Somehow with the big move, the washer must have got banged around a bit....→ fixing whatever was wrong with it! ← I kid you not....it's back to working great and I am so thankful!

- I miss Jackson. He seems so happy with his dad that I try my best to not say anything. I think he just missed him so much. And I think my ex husband feels the same way. We both miss the kids that use to live with us. Ironic huh? I think Brittany needed me as much as Jackson needed him. I wish all the kids were here...with me. But we want them happy and it's not forever. 

- Mom and I did decorate grandma's little room while she was here. My grandmother is in a nursing home full time now. It hurt going to my uncles homes this past week and seeing her stuff in each of their homes. They are her kids. I get it. It just made me a bit sad. But mom and I tried to decorate a little bit for her. We didn't want too much but it was fun. Grandma is one of the loves of my life. She was always loyal and loving to me. 

- I have been doing a lot of self reflecting here lately. I am so done with anyone who truly does not have my best interest in mind. Or the best interest of my kids...my family.  It doesn't matter what anyone says. I make my own decisions. And while life has been difficult and hard the past week or two, it really showed me who supports and loves me. Who loves my family. There are some who just want to know what is going on so they can try to judge. It's has been so clear to me who I can trust and who I can't. All you need is some hard complicated times. Then wait for everyone to show you who they truly are.

- I have been learning all about this new area. I know that sounds silly since I was born and raised here but things have really changed. I live in a quiet area that I have never lived in before. There are so many new stores and places built up around here that it all seems new. It's familiar and new all at the same time. Fancy that.

- Last night I really focused on working in my planner. I am close to having to order some new Midori inserts. But trying to road-map everything out for this next week just made me feel better. I don't like getting behind. Now with all the kids here, the grandkids, friends and family there is so much more going on. I like to do lists. And believe me....mine is never ending! 

- I want my money back for a bag of Starbucks Morning Joe Ground Coffee. I am really trying but it smells so weird to me. The taste is not terrible but the smell is just sending me over the edge. Yuck. And I might seriously take it back.

- I truly love the layout of this house. I have had to hike my ass up the stairs so many times to get to my bedroom and I now I don't! I'm serious...I really do like this house. I am not sure Scott was really truly ready for me to like it but I am sure he's happy I am not complaining about it. And I even like the neighborhood....so far! :)

- All the kitty cats need baths and groomed. I wish I could just find someone to take them all to. It's a huge job and normally I like to just do one a day. But this weather is just too cold to do that to them.

- The big news from over the weekend is Brittany and Kenzie along with 2 of their friends made the New Albany High School Cheerleading Team. I was so nervous for all of them but they worked hard and earned their spots. I was never ever athletic. Brittany is for sure not living through me. This is her dream...her hard work and her success. We are so proud.

I hope you have a wonderful evening. I'll have a new video up tomorrow...with a giveaway! xx

Tuesday Truths

Hello everyone. I hope you are having a wonderful Tuesday. I am back with another edition of Tuesday Truths. Hope you enjoy! 

* Moving back to Indiana makes me wonder about some relationships that I haven't wanted to think about for years. I think I need to remember when people show you who they are...I need to believe them. It makes me nervous.

* I had traffic court this morning. I have never seen anything like it before. To me it seems like the officers were acting like lawyers but they were really nice. The officer who pulled me over twice is a nice guy. I might not like my fines but he was kind. He was nice to my kids the 1st time and really nice to me the 2nd time. And even today, he was kind and dropped a lot of my fees and gave me a little extra time with the move to pay them. I was nervous about going but it was ok and it worked out better than expected. It's a good day! 

* I have 90% of the kitchen packed up. Today I finished up with the spices and other nick nack items but thankfully that job is done. I am thankful for taking this at my own pace. I might have to get moving a little faster this week...the boys are home from school for spring break and their help would be nice. Garage here we come! 

* I lost a important email and I can't get it back. Delete means delete on gmail and that's that. SHIT!!!!

* I think I need to buy one more load of boxes and then hopefully I will be done. I don't really want to buy boxes. I never have before but this job is hard enough. Dumpster diving for boxes just isn't happening this time. I think I am just getting too old for all that. 

* I saw a bee on the back porch today. Thank goodness I left the epi pen out. I am so scared of getting stung. My reaction is different every time. No telling what will happen to me. It could seriously kill me. I want Scott home. 

* Facetime has been such a gift. It makes me so happy to hit a button and see my family and friends. Its amazing! Also Uber has been kick ass as well. Who would have guessed I would love it so much!? I might never drive again! j/k

* The sun was out today but it was still a bit too chilly for me. Come on warm weather....come back. 

* I watched a show on Netflix about the Amish. It was about the ones who left and were shunned. It was actually touching and by the end I had tears running down my face. They have their way of life and their reasons for everything. 

* My kids are totally turning into legit teenagers. None of them like getting up out of the bed. At 1pm I am anxious to wake them up. But I am torn in letting them rest and get the sleep they probably need and getting their butts up. 

* I am thinking about persicope. Do you know about it? It's simply an app...you follow whom wish or sign up yourself and do live broadcasts. I like the idea and I think I am going to try it soon. Get the app on your phone and follow me → @kishajaggers 

* I wasn't going to take you through house picking. However Scott went and checked out this house his new boss wanted him to check out. It is a rental and it's beautiful. All the kids were like yessssssssssss! We'll see! We have been looking hard. I haven't settled yet...which I thought I might have to. I also an apartment for a few months was another possibility. I couldn't find many homes that really suited our family. God is guiding us where we need to be. However, mom is not happy with the price tag of this one so she is determined to find another. It should be interesting! 

* I miss Scott. Not every second but there are times during the day and evenings when I just feel a little sad and empty. It's been strange not having him here. It's about to be over though! :)

* I need to buy a external hard drive. Yesterday I spent over an hour deleting old photos and videos just for more room. I keep putting it off but I need to find one.

* Cooper has been driving me crazy. I don't know what he is trying to say to me. He's just stands close and stares at me. I played ball with him today for a long time. Fed him well. He's been out a bunch but I know what is going on with him. Maybe he misses Scott too.

* Tonight is the end of the OJ series. It's been interesting. Cuba has done a wonderful job. It still makes me very sad. But I am so watching in just a few minutes! Hope you had a wonderful day. I'll talk to you soon. xx

Tuesday Truths

Hello friends! I hope you are getting along great on this Tuesday afternoon. Here's another edition of Tuesday Truths. Hope you enjoy. 

- Romeo has been so sweet the last few days. He's really the only cat in the house that really just wants attention all the time. He's got such a personality and is really the star of the show around here. 

- The weather is pretty chilly today. I slept with a window open and woke up freezing. Yuck. I think its suppose to warm back up tomorrow. However today I am staying inside and keeping warm. 

- I miss Scott. He is working hard and learning a ton of new things. I wanted to move back to Indiana in the summer and he wanted to go ahead and take this new job and move on up now. So we are going with his plan and it sucks. It sucks for all of us not being together. 

- I actually made a video today kicking off my 2016 planner series. I know it's not for everyone but it makes me happy to watch planner videos and also to share my own. I have a lot coming up for you planner friends! 

- All the neighbors have been mowing their yards and I just refuse to do it. Yea..no thanks. We are moving and Scott is not home. It is what it is. Zane has never mowed the grass....Jackson can barely work the controls and I don't know much about it. I kinda letting the grass grow. :) 

- Our oldest daughter Laura started a new job. I couldn't be more happy for her. She's straight out of college with little experience and I think this job will be good for her. She's amazing and we are proud of her. Life is ever changing.

- I have been busy packing things up around here. It's been a little easier doing it at my own pace instead of rushing. I know some don't like the way I pack and I know others do. I feel like I am doing what works best for me since I am the one doing it. Hell, there have been times I have tossed stuff in boxes at warp speed and just went with it. This move is not like that. 

- I am thinking about using snapchat. Brittany has been explaining it a lot to me and I might just try it. I don't really see the point if it is gone in 24 hours. What do you guys think? Would you like that? 

- Here's a new pitbull story where they killed an 86 year old woman. When is enough enough. I just can't do it. I don't think anyone needs those kind of dogs. I don't care about the argument that it's the way it's raised. I don't trust people in general to raise those dogs. I won't live next to one and I certainly don't want my children around them. I know sometimes they are when I am not around but God help that dog and it's owners if something happens to any of them. I just have seen and read too much to change my views on that. However, I am sure many of you have loveable pitbulls who would never hurt anyone....until they do.

- This week I am finally throwing away our old artificial Christmas tree. It's time to say goodbye to that big tree. We did a real tree this past year and we are not going back. It looked and smelled better and I loved it. Goodbye old tree...thanks for all of our years together. 

- The kids are on spring break next week. So no getting up early! Woooo-hooo! I think we will probably be moving the week after. It's a big process we are just going through them step by step hopefully in the right order. 

- I have some pretty big traffic fines to pay. I hate it too. I might just end up going to court and putting them off till after this move. I feel like I am cops and robbers every time I pull out of the driveway. 

- On one of the upcoming days I need to take a few hours and groom all the cats. It's a huge job and it has to be done...outside. They all love it though and I love that all that hair is outside. They're just big fluff balls!

- The house is so weird looking with so much packed up. I kinda like it. Maybe in the next house I should just let it be bare. It feels good. I even like the freezer being emptier. 

- This afternoon the kids and I are doing a quick house cleanup. We have been eating dinner a little later so we are going to tackle the house and get it picked up....around the boxes. Hopefully if we get moving it won't take very long. 

- I have some news that I am busting at the seams to tell you about but I just can't yet. It's hard keeping secrets at times! Mummmmmmm's the word. And no I am not pregnant. :)

- Mr. Selfridge is back on....FOR THE LAST SEASON. I mean seriously. They take Downton Abbey from us and now Mr. Selfridge too!? I loved the 2 hour premiere but now I'm sad it's going away. 

Well I hope you guys a wonderful evening. I have a new video uploading that I will share tomorrow but if you want to check it out sooner visit my youtube channel in an hour or so. xx