Friday Letters ♥

Happy Friday Friends! I am back with another edition of Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, Thank you for another week on this planet. I know you are in control of everything and I am putting all my trust in you. Thank you for listening to my prayers. 

Dear Brittany, I can't always drop everything for you. I know that I have almost every time you needed something. But there are times....like yesterday when I just couldn't do that. That doesnt mean I don't love you. That doesn't mean I am not there for you. It simply means I could not do it. I have loved you from the second I found out I was pregnant to know and every moment in between. Don't ever forget that but understand sometimes I will say no. 

Dear Ryan, I love you sweetheart. It's crazy how people make stuff up about us...about our relationship...about you. It must be hard for some to realize we are together because we want to be together. I love the life we are building and I am so excited about our baby. We are so intertwined and have been since we were in kindergarten. Maybe no one will truly understand but who cares. Thank you for loving me back.

Dear Jackson, I am so happy you are getting some time with grandma. I hope you are making a ton of great memories.  love you so much and I am sorry if I ever made you feel less than at times. I am not perfect but I am very thankful you are my son and I wouldn't change it for anything. 

Dear Laura, You mean the world to me. I know it's strange to some. But you are one of my kids rather people like it or not. I am proud of you. I am proud of how strong you are. I am proud of how hard you work and shuffling kids back and forth. I love you and I will always be there for you and the kids until my last breath. 

Dear New Baby on the Way, helllooooo. I can't wait to meet you. I think you are the same baby...same soul that has been trying to come into the world since 2003. I have thought about you everyday for years. I have asked for forgiveness on so many levels and maybe just maybe with you on the way now, God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I am so excited to welcome you to our loud crazy life. We will love you forever and I can't wait till you are in my arms. 

Dear Mom, thank you for being so supportive. I know you love me. I know that you support me. I really would be lost without you. 

Dear Laci, its been nice talking to you here lately. We need to make time for each other more. I am so happy you are in love and happy! 

Dear Shanna, it breaks my heart what Emily has been going through. I know she has been in a lot of pain....BUT I know it will pass and she will be ok....better in the coming years. I love you guys. You are also my family forever. 

Dear Zane, I think about you often. I hope you are doing ok. I know you miss your dad and a part of me misses him too at times. I know you are smart and strong. Remember, you still have a big future ahead of you. I also hope to send you something special sometime in the near future. Brittany and Jackson ask about you all the time and miss you too. 

Dear Dad, I miss you everyday. I wish you were here. I wish I could put this new baby in your arms. I wish I was sitting around the kitchen table with you laughing. I wish we could listen to your war stories. I wish I could talk to you about everything. I mean I kinda do already but I really do anything just to get a few minutes of your time. I can't wait to see you again one day. 

Dear Jerred, you are my family as well. I hope you are ok...actually I hope you are better than ok. Your family and kids miss you. I hope you come home and really change your life for the better. We love you. 

Dear Blog and Youtube friends, as you can see, I only have the people who mean the absoutle most to me on here today. No long ramblings about Donald Trump or things I hate. Instead just love. And really you guys have helped me focus on just the good so thank you. I love you guys. The amount of support compared to the misinformed haters is leaps and bounds. Thank you thank you thank you. I love you guys right back. 

Thanks for stopping by today. New video coming soon! xx

Friday Letters

Happy Friday Friends! Here is another edition of Friday letters. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, I know more than anything in my soul that you exist. I feel the gift you have given to me growing inside my body. Please keep the baby safe as well as all the other kids in our family. That's my concern. Thank you for listening to my prayers. 

Dear Romeo, you wake me up every morning. I don't even need the alarm clock at this point. I love you kitty cat. 

Dear House, I hope you are the one. Fingers crossed! 

Dear Ryan, I love you. I have only love a couple of men my entire life and you are the one I have loved the longest. Can you believe how long we have been in each others lives? I should have known that it would be you. It's been you since I have been 5 years old. I really do love you and thank you for loving me back. 

Dear Mom, it's fun watching you travel around. I am glad you are having a fun. You and Don deserve it. I love you. 

Dear Sunshine, I loooove you! You make me feel so much better. 

Dear Jackson, we need to spend more time together. I know you love all the boy things you do with your dad but could you please make time to hang out with me a little more. I miss you and love you. 

Dear Car, you really need to be cleaned out.....maybe later today. 

Dear Trina, I still don't know why you are so obsessed. You are a grown woman who has her own life. Stay out of mine. You get it wrong more than you get it right. I have never ever weighed 150 lbs. Never. That probably is what one of your thighs weigh. Just stop already. It's more than apparent why you have no friends. Do what you should do and go on with your life. We both loved him. We are not in competition. He is gone. I have moved on and you should too. And honest to God, hasn't he put us and our families through enough?? You don't have to continue the bad bazaar behavior. Be free and happy for once in your life. 

Dear Work, I almost quit this week. Someone really upset me but instead of acting out of anger, I just stayed calm and got through it. One day at a time. 

Dear Laura, I am proud of you for working hard and getting it done. You are a good mom, a good daughter and I love you very much. 

Dear Stomach, please calm down. I have only had a little coffee at this point and I would like to keep it down. 

Dear Stephanie, I love you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Dear Nails, you are really growing and looking so nice. I am so happy there are no more acrylics on top of you. They served their purpose but now it's just us. Stay strong please! 

Dear Brittany, I am so proud of you. Thank you for helping me with the groceries yesterday. Sorry about making your dad mad.....thanks for taking one for Gabby! I love you and will see you in a few hours. 

Dear Baby in my body, I have waited for you since 2003. I have lost you twice and all I want is for you to grow inside of me and come join our family when you are ready. There are a lot of people waiting to meet and love you. My belly is growing and I just feel so happy. I can't wait to meet you.
Dear Donald Trump and Mike Pence, keep doing what you are doing dumb men. You are actually walking yourselves right into impeachment....just stay on that path please. :)

Dear Dad, I miss you everyday. I know you have already met this baby. I hope when my time comes, you are the one who escorts me to the other side. Come see me in my dreams. 

Dear Maekenzie, your daddy loves and misses you. We hope you are making the right decisions and doing good. Make time to come visit. 

Dear Smart TV, I loooove you! I barely watch regular tv at this point. 

Dear Shanna, Thank you for always listening to me. I love you. You are one of the best friends any girl could ask for. 

Dear Grandma Mary, like a few other of my family members who are no longer here....you live inside of me and will till my last breath. Thank you for trusting me with your life story. I know was never easy for you to open up. However, because you did with me....you impacted my life forever. And forever you will live inside of my heart...my soul. I miss you. I really miss you. 

Dear Beth, I am sorry about that pitbull. Just stay away from her as much as possible. Thank you for everything you have done for me. 

Dear Baby Names, we are having the hardest time with you. I like Ophelia and Adeline for a girl....and AJ and Grayson for a boy. Ryan has other picks he likes. I have no idea how we are going to figure this out! Hopefully this gets easier. 

Dear Laci, I am glad you have found love and are happy! I can't wait to meet him. I love you. 

Dear Future Work & Schedule, I am trying to figure out a new way of living after the baby comes. I don't want it with other people more than it's with Ryan or myself. So maybe I work nights when Ryan can take care of the baby. Whatever it takes, I will do. Please work out for me. Give me the right opportunity please! 

Dear Youtube friends, sorry I said Tylenol and Advil in that update. I am not taking advil. I only take Tylenol. I think it was just out of habit that I said that.  I am being as careful as I can. Thank you guys for watching and having concern. That's why I love you. Hope you have a great day. xx

Friday Letters ♥

Happy Friday friends! Here is another edition of Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, thank you for keeping the kids safe. I put my trust in you every single day. Thank you for listening to my prayers. Dear Rain, you are so cold today. I wish you would just go away and warm up. Dear Work, having a couple days off has been so nice and much needed. Dear Mom, I hope you had an amazing birthday. I love you. Dear Ryan, thank you for being so sweet. I love cuddling up with you in bed and dreaming away. It's so nice you are off work today with me. I love you and I am so excited about our little baby that's on the way! Dear Republicans, you are such a disgrace to our country. Now you want to pass a law that  would allow insurance companies to treat rape, pregnancy complications and post-partum depression like pre-existing conditions. It takes away money from special education and Planned Parenthood. If the AHCA was enacted today, millions of Americans would lose health insurance and millions of Americans would die horrible deaths from completely treatable diseases. I think you are so freaking dumb and I wish Obama would come back and make everything ok again. Dear Jackson, I am so happy that you are excited about going and traveling around with my mom for a month. I hope you have a wonderful time and make lots of great memories. I love you sweet boy. Dear Youtube, I am working hard on getting caught up videos. It always seems that there are less hours in the day. Dear Laci, so happy you have met someone! I hope it all works out. And that spa vacation sounds really nice about right now! Dear Kitchen, I clean you...and you get messed up. The story of my life. Why can't you just be self cleaning like the oven!? Dear New Baby, I am so excited about meeting you. I know that you are coming into a complicated world but know your dad and I will do everything to protect you and love you...till the end of time. Just keep growing and we will see each other around Christmas. And it would really be interesting if you arrived on my late brothers birthday! I already love you so much. Dear Maekenzie, I know we all sound like we are bitching but the truth is...we just want what's best for you. We are very thankful you are home safe and sound. Please don't scare us like that again. You have a huge life in front of you. Take advantage of it. Dear Scott,  sometimes I actually feel guilty trying to make a life with Ryan and be happy. However, I know that you loved me and would want me to not be sad forever. I know things got bad between us in the end but I also know it was your addiction that was taking over. I hope you are at peace and I hope you know that I did love you regardless of all the bad things that happened. None of it really matters anyway at this point. But you are missed by many and I am happy. I am truly happy and I hope you can see that. Dear Apartment, You have been a safe place...a stepping stone and I hope soon we can find a house where we all can be together. Thank you for keeping us warm, safe, and happy. Dear Brittany, good luck with the cheer tryouts today! I love you sweetheart! Dear Cooper, I hope you are ok. I miss your sweet face. I am sorry your family broke up and you ended up God knows where. Just know, you are forever in my heart. Dear Beth, thank you for all you do for me at work. I know Tuesday was intense and I appreciate you covering my ass. Thank you so much. And the same goes to Marla. See ya tomorrow.! Dear Hair, I wish you would just hurry up and grow completely out. I am hating the layers!  Dear Trina, I hate wasting my time on your ass but I just to tell you a few things....you are troll who lies for sport. Scott did love me. He married me. He would never pay for a divorce that was not based on a true marriage. We did have sex and you know it. We were together for longer than any relationship you have had. You enjoy the attention from the trolls because you have NO friends. You are raising your grandson because your kid is a POS stripper/prostitute.  You are a raciest and have said the n word sooooo many times yet you are in charge of a mixed baby. Gosh... I feel sorry for him and you are just full of hate. And what about the first kid that you threw away? I can see straight through your glass house. You will never ever get the ashes from me. Glad you called Laura because I would soon put them in the litter box before handing them to you. I hope you go on with your miserable self and life and leave me alone. You are not worth my energy and you know what? You should not be wasting your energy on me. Dear Planners, I have got to make more time for you. I feel like I am getting a little behind. Dear Dad, I miss you...everyday. I know you have already met our baby and I know you can see everything. There are days when tears just flow down my face because I miss you so much. I will never forget you or the love you showed me. Dear bladder, I know little baby Harshey is only the size of a pecan so I don't understand why you feel so full ALL OF THE TIME. A catheter seems like it would be easier. Dear Car, I want to get rid of you so badly. I think I am going to really start working on it. Dear Life, you have such a weird way of working out. I would have never guessed things would be the way they are right now. But I am happy, safe and loved. God does always have a plan. Dear Self, remember that an eye for an eye is not always best. Resist the tempation to fight back. Just focus on yourself and your family and let everyone else do them. Have faith. Dear Youtube and Blog friends, I love you guys. Thank you for being such a loving and supportive community to me. I am always amazed by your comments and emails. You always give me the push I need. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

Friday Letters ♥

Dear God, I am thankful for you keeping my kids and family safe and sound. It's the only thing that I truly care about. Dear Ryan, thank you for everything you do for me. You have really brought me back to life. Thank you for your love and patience. Dear Romeo, I am working on getting you to the Vet and taking care of things. I plan on you being in my life forever. I actually want you to live forever! Dear Laura, I know things are hard right now. I know you are stressed out and tired. But you can do it. You can do anything you want...you just have to work hard and stay positive. Dear Body, you don't hurt as much anymore but you do make a lot of popping sounds. I plan on getting to the Dr. soon and taking better care of you. Dear Jackson, I had so much fun with you the other day! I love you and I love how much you have grown up. Dear Hair, it's time for bangs and I know it. Hopefully I can make that change really soon! Dear Shanna, thanks for letting me know what was going on last night. I think of you all the time but we need to make more time for talking. Dear Smart TV, I still think you are such a big blessing. I love you and I think a TV hooked up to the internet is genius. Dear Brittany, I am so proud of you. I really am. You and your brothers are are the best thing I have ever done. Dear Coffee, you taste amazing this morning. Thank you for helping wake me up.Dear New Little Washer, I don't know why your order was cancelled. Now I am confused on rather or not I should get you. I hate carrying heavy laundry. I really do. I think I will just have to check out your warranty information and probably order you from another company. I was so disappointed when I saw that you were not being shipped.  Dear Mom, you look like you are enjoying yourself so much! I am glad all is going well. Dear Ex Sister in Law, I really don't want you mentioned anymore here on this blog. But I do want to tell you I don't know if I will ever forgive you for what you did in Scott's last days. I was with him longer than any other woman and I loved him. I would really tell you what I think but I guess it doesn't matter now and I am trying to be a better person. However, I am a person who doesn't easily turn the other cheek. I believe in an eye for an eye and guess what? Karma will get you and I honestly hope you feel the same that you made me feel. I hope you hurt like you hurt me. . One day your bill will come due. Dear Russell, don't ever forget how much I love our son. Dear Apartment, thank you for keeping me warm and safe. Dear New Computer, I have no idea what happened to the old one but you are so much nicer anyway. I am sure we will be spending a lot of time together! Dear Jerred, I know you are confused. Just know you will always be a family because of the kids. Dear Car, I still don't like you and still trying to figure out a way to get something better. But I am grateful for all the rides you give me! Dear Art, please remember the kids are impressionable and while they absolutely love you, you have to set the right example. I know you understand what I am saying. Dear Kimmy, figure out your next day off so we can spend sometime together! Dear Work, thank you for being a place I enjoy being! Dear Amazon, I wish your boxes would come in today rather than Monday. I really have no patience. Dear Blog & Youtube Friends, you guys make my life so much better. Thank you for taking the time to stop by...leave comments and always lifting me up. I love you guys! I hope you have a great Friday! ♥♥♥

Friday Letters ♥

Hello friends! Welcome to another edition of Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, thank you for protecting my family and listening to my prayers. I don't understand everything you do, but I am trusting you to get me through this life in the best ways possible. 

Dear Gmail Inbox, I totally killed you this week! Even though I know by tomorrow you will be full again, it feels good being caught up! 

Dear Ryan, watching you sleep right now while I woke on the blog just makes me happy. I love you are in my life. I know many people don't understand us. That doesn't matter because WE understand us. I love you sweet boy. 

Dear Chocolate Caramel Brownie Mix, you are proving to be so much better then the brownies themselves! I know that's usually the case, but your soft rich chocolate taste has been exactly what I need last night. And Ryan loved you too! :)

Dear instagram lovers, I am so happy that we are friends! I don't know why I am so obsessed with liking what you ate for dinner or wore to work, but I am! and also your likes make my day. the end.  

Dear Brittany, I am so glad you had a good time on your trip. Make time for your mother please. I love you! 

Dear future, I really am feeling high on life lately, despite a few curve-balls thrown pelted my way, but I am really excited to meet you, and I hope we can make sweet memories together!

Dear Romeo, you have this amazing power to make everyone fall in love with you. It's your gift! 

Dear Camera, I have got to get you out and get some videos made! Gosh...I feel so behind sometimes. 

Dear new acrylic nails, funny enough after all my complaining about having to re-learn texting and the clicking on my keyboard, I kinda miss feeling like a lady and not a 12 year old boy with no nails... Maybe we could be friends again?

Dear Jackson, I promise I am making all the calls and setting up all your appoitments. You run me non stop but I love you so much. 

Dear mr cold, no offense but I hope you and I never meet again. it was clear you didn't like me, and therefore I really didn't like you, so I think our parting was for the best all around don't you?

Dear Laura, I know I have already told you but I am so proud of you for making the big decision to live on your own. I know it's a bit scary but I think you will be in love with how free you will feel....just like I do! 

Dear Etsy, You are one of my favorite places to shop. I could get lost within you for hours on end!

Dear Rain, I love the sound of you coming down. The news said you would be starting around 3 pm and its now 10:14pm ( Thursday night ) and you finally started. I hope you rain all night. 

Dear bills, I don't know what I said to make you think that we were friends, but please stop just showing up in my mailbox uninvited. Its a little rude when you think about it...

Dear Scott, I think about you all the time. I still can't believe everything that happened. I hope you are at peace and I hope you know that I really did love you. I loved our family. I know the kids miss you too. 

Dear Netflix, Amazon instant Video, and my Smart tv, I love you all. The end. 

Dear Shanna, we have to make time for each other. I miss you dear friend. 

Dear Jordan, I hope you know how much I love you. I wish you would come out of your shell and come around more. We are all waiting with open arms. 

Dear Apartment, you are FINALLY feeling like home. Thank you for providing me with a safe warm place to live. I am truly grateful.

Dear Maekenzie, sorry if I seemed grumpy the other day. You guys were just loud but no different than the rest of the teenagers! 

Dear Mom, so happy you are traveling around. I think you and Don will have so much fun! I love you. 

Dear Hot Bath, you felt so amazing  last night. Thank you for helping make my aching muscles feel better. 

Dear Kimmy, so happy about having lunch together tomorrow! I miss spending time with you since I have moved. 

Dear Midori Travelers Notebook, you are still one of my most favorite planners. I will have you forever. 

Dear Critical Trolls, you know who you are. You guys should really find something better to do with your time. I am going to continue living my life no matter what you say or how you feel. It's just a giant waste of time.....for YOU. 

Dear Long Lost Mascara, you showed back up! Yea!!! So happy to have you again! 

Dear bloggy friends, your comments truely make my day, every day. Thank you so so much for taking the time to leave them! :)

Monthly Favorites Video → February ←

Hello friends! I am here sharing a new monthly favorites video with you guys. It has been so loooong since I have done one of these kind of videos. In fact it was actually my April 2016 favorites published in May. That's a long time without a favorites video. So I am very happy to be sharing the products I have been reaching for the most this past month. Hope you enjoy!

Friday Letters ♥

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I have done a Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy. 

:: Dear God, Thank you for another week in this world. I don't understand your plans but I trust you will lead me down the right path. Instead of loosing faith with everything that has happened, I feel even more connected to you. Please keep the kids safe. 

:: Dear Romeo, you are still the family mascot. You are the most lovable sweet cat that anyone could ever hope for. 

:: Dear Work, yesterday sucked. Hopefully today will be better! 

:: Dear New Mascara, I think you just came to life and went on somewhere to coat someone else's lashes. I am going to tear the hall closet apart looking for you. 

:: Dear Trina, you must be so attention starved if you have to share pieces of my email on a public forum. It just makes you look sad, pathetic and desperate. Go away... you have done enough damage. 

:: Dear Freaky Weather, I don't understand what is going on. I feel like this is why our polar bears are dying. The earth is too hot and melting all the ice and snow. I do love it but I know something is just not right. 

:: Dear Ryan, I am so proud of how hard you work. I am so looking forward to our trip in the coming weeks. Thank you for slowly but surely bringing me back to life. I love you. 

:: Dear Nails and Toes, I need to go get you done. It's been a while and it just sounds so nice and relaxing. 

:: Dear Brittany, I am very proud of you. I know how hard you work at school and cheerleading. I am so happy that you are better than I was. Keep it up...you have a big life in front of you. 

:: Dear Car, I don't really like you but I am grateful for you getting me from point a to point b. I feel like I am driving a boat around compared to the Mini Cooper. Please keep working. I promise to change your oil soon. 

:: Dear Gabby, you are such a traitor when Ryan is around. Who's cat are you anyway?

:: Dear Donald Trump, you are a real piece of work. With you I feel like I am watching a giant asteroid coming towards earth and can't do anything about it. I am scared you are going to get us all killed. And look you have your own little doll now. You should be so proud. And I bet it's made in China! :)

:: Dear Mom, I am sure you don't like the Donalds post above, but it's how I feel. However, thank you so much for bringing that stuff up here for me. I love you and I am glad you and Don plan on having some fun. You guys deserve it. 

:: Dear The Crown, I am so hooked on you. Netflix got it right with this show. I just keep watching and watching! 

:: Dear Laura, I love having you around at work. I think it will be a great place for you and I also think if we start serving at night we will really enjoy it. I am so proud of you. And the grand kids. They are all growing up so fast. 

:: Dear SD Card, Why are you giving me such a hard time? I guess I just need to replace you. Might try to format you first to see if it works. 

:: Dear Jackson, I need to get you over here more. We need to get everyone together and have a family night. A night of fun food and games. I miss you sweetheart. Gotta give up some of those fishing days! 

:: Dear Apartment, I am not use to you yet. Things are a bit louder than I am use to. There is not that much space in the kitchen yet you are my home. Little by little I am trying to re-build my life right here. Thank you for giving us a warm safe place to stay. 

:: Dear Dad, I miss you so much that I can't breathe sometimes. I would do anything...absolutely anything to hear your voice. Come see me in my dreams. 

:: Dear Blog and Youtube, I have missed you. I have a lot of work to do to get you caught up and back in good shape. I am excited about the possibilities. 

:: Dear Scott, I can't believe I picked you up from a funeral home. I just can't believe it. All of us wonder what happened and what went so terribly wrong. I hope you are at peace with your family. I hope you made a lot of good memories that you took with you. I will always look after Laura and the kids. Always. 

:: Dear New Computer, you are not as nice as the other one I had but I am thankful for you and I think we will be spending a lot of time together. :) 

:: Dear Maekenzie, you are so cute. I remember when you were little and now to see you all grown up is amazing. Keep doing good in school, college is right around the corner! 

:: Dear Midori, You are still the most amazing planner/journal. I still love you and imagine I always will. 

:: Dear Shanna, thank you for being the best of friends to me. Your advice and comfort has helped me get through so many hard times in my life. You have put a smile on my face so many times and I love you. 

:: Dear towels, got to get you washed today. However, dropping the laundry off last night was a life saver thanks to Ryan. I hate not having a washer and dryer in the apartment. 

:: Dear Abbygale, You are a lot of fun. It's so nice getting to know you!!!  We are all going to have to go out one night! Thanks for being so kind to Laura...she needs more friends. 

:: Dear Kimmy, I am so jealous you are enjoying the sunny days in Florida. Glad you got the vacation you so desperately needed. I love you...and I am still waiting on our wine and cheese date at Hubers!

:: Dear Laundry Guy, Thanks for messing everything up. I seriously wish I could get the $4 tip back. Guess that's what I get for tipping when I dropped it off.  You bleached a black bra. Lost my work shirt. I have to call back in the am. You are fired and I will find someone else to help out.

:: Dear Laci, I wish we talked more. I am proud that you are doing well and seem really in a good place. Call me so we can catch up.

:: Dear Cooper, I miss you. I hope you are well taken care of. If things weren't so messed up, you would be with me where you belong.

:: Dear Body, you feel like a 41 year old body. You hurt and ache all the time but at least I am still breathing. Working out seems to be a thing of the past but I have got to change that. Ankle please stop hurting.

:: Dear Love, I still want to believe in you. I really do.

:: Dear Blog and Youtube friends, thank you for being so supportive, loving and encouraging. I really appreciate each one of you. I have a vlog that should be live later today. It feels good sharing with you guys again. Again...thank you for all your love and support. Sometimes I feel like I am loosing it and then one of you pop in with a sweet comment that melts my heart. I love you guys. Have a great weekend. xx

 

Friday Letters

Dear God, Thank you for another week on this planet. Thank you for helping me do better. Thank you for protecting my kids. I sure hope you hear my prayers. Dear Fall, You showed up on the official day and haven't left. I am seeing leaves fall, feeling the cold temperatures. and I actually love it! Dear Romeo, I am sorry you are still stuck with him. I hope to rescue you back soon. I miss you. Dear Jackson, I can't believe how fast you are growing up. Please do good in school....you need an education! I love you. Dear Work Friends, you all make me smile and laugh so much! I love you guys! Dear Indiana, I am actually alarmed by the amount of Trump signs I keep seeing. Very disappointing. Glad we are not a battleground State.  Dear Shanna, sorry we haven't talked as much. I miss you. Just been busy! Dear Brittany, you are the cutest ever. I love you. Hope you have fun tonight! Dear Camper, I appreciate you. I truly do. You sit in the most beautiful place with a beautiful view. The only thing I truly miss is a big bath tub. Makes me want to go to a hotel just to take a long bath! Dear Jordan, I love you.  Dear Mom, glad I got to see you. I wish it was under different circumstances but it was nice having you here. Dear Purse, I really need to clean you out and get you organized. A messy purse is a messy head. Dear Satellite Internet, You suck....but I guess it's better than nothing. Dear Russell, I love your hair, body, smile and personality. It's so nice having you back in my life. Dear Little Turtle, I really wanted to keep you. I hope you have a long happy life. It's a big world. Dear Laura, I hope to see you tomorrow! Glad you are sounding a little more happy! You are a wonderful person and I am so happy you are in my life. Dear Emily, I am in shock you are married again but I am happy for you! Dear PO Box, thank you for truly making my life easier. I like not having my mail come to the house. I'll come check you soon. Dear Grandma, It was so hard saying goodbye to you. I will forever love and miss you. Come see me in my dreams. Dear Mornings, you are not so easy for me. But having a comfy soft bed with no one snoring has changed everything. I have been waking up happy, rested and ready for a new day! Dear Cooper, I truly miss you. I didn't know our lives would turn out the way they did. I really hope you are ok and happy. Dear Fitbit, I love you. I think you are one of the greatest inventions ever! Dear Donald Trump, I wish you would just go away. Actually I wish I could put a parachute on you and my ex husband and push you both out of a plane far far away from here. Dear Daily Mail, you are still one of my biggest online addictions. Why I think you are the news, I don't know. I spend way to much time with you! Dear Body, I think you are enjoying the mini workouts you are getting now. However, I do feel older and you just don't feel like you use to. You hurt more. Guess that's just life.   Dear Laci, it was nice seeing you. Glad you are doing good. Dear Youtube, I wish I had more time to dedicate to you. It's not easy being in such a small place, with no actually doors except on the bathroom plus less time. But I promise I am trying to get back at it....on my own schedule... in my own time. Dear Harvest Home Coming, I am so excited about you! I can't wait to go walk around, go through the booths and eat yummy foods. Dear Art, thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for our kids. You are a good dad. Sorry I haven't always seen that but I know you love them. I'm proud of you. Dear Winter & Snow, I am seriously scared of you. Dear Dad, I miss you. I bet in less than 40 years we will see eachother again. I felt safe with you. I think about you everyday. I wish you were here right now....this second. Maybe you are. I really don't know but would love for you to come see me again in my dreams. Watch out for grandma Mary please. Dear Bakery, thank you for all your sound advice and mean comments. When you guys get it wrong you really get it wrong don't you? None of you make my decisions and never will. Dear Self, repeat to yourself over and over that everything is going to be ok. There is nothing to be scared of. Then remember that God is leading the way. Have confidence in yourself and your situation. Dear Gabby, I am glad you seem like your old self now. I think you like being the only kitty cat around! All the attention goes to you! I love you sweet kitty. Dear Kimmy, thank you for everything. I love you and I am so thankful for you. Family means everything. I am so happy to have you and your brother and sister in my life. Dear Blog/Youtube Friends, Thank you guys for being so kind and supportive. I am so amazed by all the kindness from you guys. Thanks for stopping by tonight. Have a wonderful weekend. I'll see ya soon! xx

Friday Letters ♥

Hello friends! I hope you are having a great friday. Since I am doing my best to get back with it...I thought another edition of Friday letters would be fun. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, I have had a lot of questions for you since my divorce and the death of my grandmother. I'm not mad but I wish you wouldn't have taken her from me. I understand the man. I asked for help getting away from him but I wish I still had my grandmother here. I hope she is singing with the angles now. Please hear my prayers and help put forgiveness in my heart for those who have and continue to do harm to me. 

Dear Brittany, Jackson, & Jordan, You are the best things that have ever came from me. Each of you are better than me and I am so privileged to that you call me mom. I am so proud of you. 

Dear Gabby, I am sorry you seem to miss your friends/family. I miss them too. I promise to change it as soon as we get moved. 

Dear Mom, I am so proud of you for getting through everything with grandma. I can't imagine that day coming for Laci and I. I would be soooooo lost without you. I love you mom. 

Dear Brangelina, Talk about shocking. Oddly enough I don't feel so bad about my divorce now. If you two big money Hollywood actors with a tribe of kids cant make it work.....who were we? All hope is lost.

Dear Laura, I hope you know that you are someone I truly adore. Remember everything I said when I was sitting in your kitchen last night. I really do think it could be the answer to a lot of our problems. I love you and we can figure out things together. You are not alone.....and never will be. 

Dear Camper, I am very thankful for a place to call my own for the time being. You have kept me warm and helped keep me safe while I have tried to deal with a broken heart, a new job, a new way of life and I appreciate it. But I am ready to move. Hopefully we will only be together a little bit longer. But I will miss the bed!!! The bed is the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in. Strange but true! And guess what? No work today means....time to clean you up. 

Dear Shanna, Thank you best friend for putting up with me. I love you. 

Dear Cherokee Park, I love you. I love you. I love you. I forgot how much I truly adore the space you take up and share with the with the community. I keep walking, searching and discovering new places that capture my mind, heart and soul. Who knew a park could do so much. 

Dear BGT8IRD, I am doing my best to not hate you. But really it's too late. YOU are one of the worst people on the planet and now I understand why that ex of mine is so screwed up. I wish nothing but the worst for you however, I am trying to get past those feelings so I will just pray for you. 

Dear Hair, I am doing my best to grow you out but you are getting on my nerves so badly! You also need dyed. Yep...thanks grey hairs! 

Dear Dad, I guess from the other side you can see everything that has happened. I wish you were here. I wish I could talk to you and actually hear your words back. I hope you are proud of me for not letting a man destroy me. It took a lot of previous lessons...and talks from you. I am stronger than I know and I still have those words from you flowing through my head. I love you and I will forever. 

Dear Blog, I have missed you so much. It feels amazing to be back where I belong. 

Dear Laci, I was very happy that you came up here this week. It was nice seeing you and I know mom appreciated it. I know you were not around many people up here but they are your family and they love you. I'll call soon. 

Dear Russell, Thank you for being here in such a crazy time. You know I love you. 

Dear Waffle House, I will see you soon but I think our time is about over. I am so grateful for the time and support you have given me. But better things are ahead.....and I need more money. I think I will miss my friends more than anything else. This is probably our last week together. :(  I am scared of a new job.....but I have to face those fears and get some real money made. 

Dear Mini Cooper, I guess we are not meant to be together forever. Another change in the air. It will feel good to move and not worry anymore. 

Dear Romeo, I miss you kitty cat. I truly do. I am sorry you were not the one who came with me. I thought I would take the one who needed me the most. Not the one I needed the most. My heart breaks everytime I wake up and don't see your cute face! 

Dear Body, I guess a divorce is doing you well. I have lost almost 12 pounds. With the new job in the future, I bet I loose much more. But could you please sleep better and stop with the hip and ankle hurting so much. 

Dear Kimmy, I am so thankful for all the love and support you have shown. I love you like a sister. And I will forever be grateful for everything you have done for me. 

Dear Bakery, Relying on Trina to tell you the truth is about as stupid as it gets. That's why I feel compelled to come on and tell you the truth. Get it right otherwise you will just look like dumbasses. 

Dear Buddy ( But NOT Joseph ), I should have said this years ago....but I am done. Like seriously done. Your mother loved you so much. You should have been there and you seriously cost yourself some family with your antics the last few days. It wasn't about you. It was about honoring your mother for 2 days. Do you think it was easy for any of us? Do you think we really wanted to be there? It hurt terribly but it was about honoring her life. People have made excuses for you for your entire life. There is nothing you can say that can fix this. You should be ashamed of yourself. Goodbye and Good Riddance. 

Dear Catherine, I'm sorry. I couldn't love him enough clearly. Our family became disposable to him. I thought I was a good wife. Guess not. It's just a title either of us held well. Sorry for what I said about Trina but sometimes she is just too much for any one person. I miss you and I will always love you.

Dear Phone, I broke you. Dropped you in water. Lost you.....and you are still hanging on. Please hang on a little longer and I will let you retire soon! 

Dear EXHusband, You are one of the biggest disappointments in my life. But you didn't destroy me. 

Dear Entire Martin Family, You guys really are some of the most loyal loving family a girl could ask for. Coming together for grandma, I saw love and kindness. I saw sadness. I am sorry for what my father's side of the family said and done to you guys. You are the loyal ones and I love you so much. I really do. You have lifted me up and cared for me in one of the hardest times of my life. You are my family. 

Dear Blog/Youtube Friends, Thank you guys for sticking around and for being so understanding. Things have really changed. I still have a lot that I need to get done/updated but I feel good about being here again talking with all of you. I love you guys.  See ya soon. xx

Friday Letters

Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful Friday. I am back with another edition of Friday Letters. It's been a while since I have shared one of these blog post....so I hope you enjoy!

- Dear God, Thank you for watching over and protecting our kids. That's really all I want. Thank you for listening to my prayers. 

- Dear Self, You really need to get your act together and start getting to bed earlier. The school year will be here before I know it....and there is no hiding under the covers from that point on! 

- Dear Summer, I feel as you are passing us by. I think it's just taken a while to get settled in and I don't this is the year for a big family vacation....but I do want to do a few fun things with the kids.  

- Dear Scott, I love you dear husband but that snoring is driving me crazy! I think we are both sleeping a lot less now that we are back in the same bed. But I do like having you beside me....regardless of how loud you are! 

- Dear Jackson, You did great at soccer the other night. I am so proud of you for finally trying a sport. You will always be my baby. I love you Jackson. 

- Dear Emily, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it is for you and your kids right now. Just hold them close and know that one day you will see your sweet heart again. And he's with you right now...be calm and you will feel it. 

- Dear Bare Minerals, You are hands down my favorite makeup. Seriously. I don't know why I even try other things. You always make my skin feel and look better. Thank you. :)

- Dear Mom, glad everything is going well with the dog training. I think it's the perfect little job for you! 

- Dear Donald Trump, Running a golf course IS NOT like running a country. You are so full of shit. The end. 

- Dear Brittany, You are growing up so fast. I am so proud of you. You are still the best thing I have ever done. Keep working hard to accomplish your goals and to follow your dreams. 

- Dear Neighbors, thank you for those American flags flying high around our house. I love looking out my bedroom window and seeing the flag. It just makes me happy so thank you! 

- Dear Cooper, I was going through your papers and realized you really will be 9 years old this December. You are such a huge part of our family and we love you bunches! 

- Dear Trina, Sorry your new camera isn't everything you would be. Hopefully you will find one that meets all your needs soon! 

- Dear Body, you have been feeling so much better but this past week, I have been more achey, sore and uncomfortable. Please start feeling better soon.

- Dear Zane, there is a big world beyond the xbox! Put down the controller and come join us! We love you! 

- Dear Indiana, Thank you for all the good memories we have made here so far. I am so happy to be up here with all of our kids and family. I can't believe I was so scared and nervous about being here. It's so much better than what I thought it would be. 

- Dear fitbit, I am so addicted to you. I think it's amazing how you can keep track of so much. I don't know how I ever lived without you! 

- Dear Shanna, I'm sorry that life has just gotten busy! I miss you and will make sure we have time to talk more! And yes....the new rug is really pretty! 

- Dear Cesar Millan, I am still obsessed with your shows. I love that our handy DVR is finding and recording all the old shows I have never seen before. 

- Dear Laura, I know you might not be happy about it but I am happy you guys are finally coming back. We have missed you! Drive safe. 

- Dear Bullet Journal, you are really working well for me right now. :) Thank you for making my life easier. 

- Dear Coffee, you were so good this morning that I am still drinking you right now! :)

- Dear Dad, I wish things were better between us. Sorry...your crazy bitch wife is too much for me. Wait till I tell you everything she has done. I know you don't know how to be a father and I forgive you for it but it would be nice if you could try harder. Do you ever think about them? You know who I am talking about....you don't just bury your dead and move on. You are suppose to honor their lives everyday. 

- Dear Tickets, it's time to pay you but let me just be clear.....YOU SUCK! But I have to pay you or I won't be able to get my Indiana license. No more excuses. 

- Dear NASA, I want you to speak up and out a little more about these photos. I need to hear from you if these are true pictures before I really made a personal judgement. It looks kinda real to me but I still want to know those are exact photos from the Curiosity rover undoctored. 

- Dear House, I am still loving you. I am doing my best to get back to a normal cleaning routine and back to including zones in my routines as well. It's not the easiest thing to move into a new house and having to create new zones, cleaning times, new rooms....it's a big job and I never feel completely done! Thank you for keeping us warm and safe. 

- Dear Kitty Cats, you guys are a little pack around here stalking flies and chasing each other around here. 

- Dear Hair, not sure what I am doing with you. Do I grow you out?? Keep you short?? Not sure. I am thinking I will maybe let it grow out to my shoulders. But I don't want long hair to deal with everyday. Shoulder length should be long enough. 

- Dear Blog/Youtube Friends, thank you guys for always being so kind and supportive. I have stayed in this community because of you. I love you guys. Have a great weekend! xx

Friday Letters

Hello friends! I am back with another edition of Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear God, Thank you for loving me no matter what. Sometimes I totally loose my way and I need your help. Thank you for keeping my family safe. 

Dear Shanna, you are the kind of best friend that everyone needs. I love you bunches. 

Dear Jackson, You sound like an elephant upstairs tonight. I hope you don't come through the floor! I love you. 

Dear CNN, I wish you guys would just ban Trumps antics from your channel. It's just sad every time I tune in, I see his face. 

Dear Scott, I am so happy you are home. I have wanted you here all day. I look forward to laying around with you. Would a back massage be too much to ask for!? I love you. 

Dear legs, why are you bothering me so much tonight? I guess you are just tired. Hopefully a long bath later will help. 

Dear Brittany, I am so very happy to be coming up there next month to see you cheer. You know that I love you dearly and we are so proud of you. 

Dear Trina, I told you this was getting crazy. Thanks for listening today....everyday. You know Scott and I both love you.

Dear Rory & Joey Feek, my heart really goes out to your beautiful family. I can't imagine what you are going through but you both inspire me. 

Dear Yard, I wish I was sowing seeds and starting a garden. I really do. We have had so many beautiful vegetable gardens through out the years but I don't want to garden in red clay and I don't want to live here though out summer. So I am just waiting. 

Dear Weather, could you please make up your mind if you want it warm or cold. A mix of both has not been so fun. Just warm up once and for all!

Dear Bonnie and also fellow and new youtubers, I had a bit of a meltdown today about a person interjecting themselves in our lives. So of course I made a video about it. Here it is... sorry for being so upset but I thought it would be ok to express my feelings. I don't like negativity so I should probably try to stop focusing on the bullshit and focus instead on the happy times.  Anyway, this video pretty sums up what I feel. 

Dear Mom, I hope we can figure out a time to get together soon. I miss you.

Dear Martin Shkreli, I wish you would just quietly disappear. I don't know how you can justify what you have done. Greed at it's finest I guess. You deserve hell.

Dear Mail, I hate that it takes so long for my packages to come in. I still love snail mail but dang....it shouldn't take as long as it does. I am just waiting...waiting...waiting.

Dear Laci, We need to catch up. I hope all is well. Love you bunches.

Dear House, you have felt so cold and chilly the last couple of days. I just can't seem to get warm no matter what I do.

Dear Indiana, we have a history for sure. A love hate relationship if you will and I just hope moving back home will be ok. I need it to be ok. I need for the memories and flashbacks not to be too devastating. I need for it to be different for the kids in a good way. Please work with me.

Dear Laura, I miss you. Call me when the kids go to bed...we have a bunch to catch up on!

Dear Zane, I am happy you seem happy! I really just want you to thrive and move on to a great life. We love you.

Dear Creed, I can't wait until I can watch you. Seriously....I am so excited!

Dear Buddy, I need to check on Joseph. I hope things are getting a little better. I'll call you tomorrow.

Dear Hair, I must be crazy trying to grow you out. I think I just need to go get it cut and move on.

Dear Drama, I don't know where you came from with the silly neighbors and with the crazies from youtube. I need a break. Go away. Our life is full enough of everyday kid drama and so on. No more is required.

Dear Cooper, you look so sweet sleeping in the floor next to me. It looks like you are running in your dreams...paws twitching. Sweet dreams.

Dear Dinner, you were so good tonight! Everyone loved it and ate it up.

Dear Youtube & Bloggy Friends, thank you for your comments on that video above. It means a lot to me. I hope that I can just move on from this and get back to making videos for the people who actually enjoy them. It means a lot to me to have you're support. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening. I love you guys. Happy Weekend. xx

Friday Letters

Hello friends! Happy Friday to you all. I hope you are having a wonderful day. Here is another edition of Friday Letters. Hope you enjoy. 

- Dear God, Thank you for allowing me to be here another week with my kids and family. I don't understand everything you have in store for my life, but I trust in you. I trust you will lead me where you want me. Please protect my family. 

- Dear Weather, I am so glad you are starting to warm up. The snow was fun....but I love that it's melted and life is back to normal. 

- Dear Brittany, I miss you. Sorry I got upset but remember I am your mom not your friend. You won't always agree with me but too bad. I am still your mother and I love you with all my heart. 

- Dear Royal Romeo, You are so much better than most people I know. King kitty cat of the Jaggers family! 

- Dear Marie, So sorry for everything you have been going through. I hope you feel better really soon. I think at least being at home, you will automatically start to feel better. I'll call you later today. 

 - Dear Phone, I have loved loved loved having you on silent. I don't think my mom or husband appreciates it but it's been so nice not hearing it ring or all my notifications coming in. It's been peaceful to say the least. 

- Dear Nails, you are really starting to look so much better thanks to Sally Hansen Miracle Cure. After years of damage from fake nails, they are finally starting to look better. What a slow process. 

- Dear Scott, I hope you are having a good day at work. Too bad you didn't get a day off this week....even though you annoy me to no end some nights, I love and miss you. 

- Dear Cookie Monster, don't think I don't know who you are. It's pretty pathetic if you ask me. Seriously....you need to focus on your own family and leave mine alone. Bitching on some site just proves to me your every bit of the asshole I thought you were. This blog is my property. Stay away from it....which I know you won't do. Go spread hate and lies since you clearly have nothing better to do. Here's an idea....take care of your animals and stop tossing them outside to fend for themselves. Yea.....do that. And if you ever come to my door again, I'm breaking out the mace. And yep...your sister is blocked too even though she's probably nothing like the crazy person you are. And just so you know when I talk crap about you... I don't hide who I am like you do. But I'll still pray for you. That's the least I can do for a two faced phony. ( Sorry for venting friends. I will explain all in detail in good time) 

- Dear Mountain Dew, I know you are super bad for me so why do I love you so? It's seriously time we part ways. I just will miss you even though you have not done anything for me except make my taste buds happy. It's time to move on and I know it. 

- Dear Mom, Thank you so much for putting so much work into the piano. It's exactly why I plan on keeping it forever. I can't wait to get moved and get it in the house! I love you. 

- Dear Closet, I have cleaned you out so much that I feel like I need to go shopping now. But I think it will have to wait until we get a little closer to spring. 

- Dear Zane, I am so happy you finally feel like you are settling in here. We love having you here and it's been so sweet being with you the past few months. I think God put you exactly where you needed to be. It might not have been expected but it's a blessing never the less. 

- Dear Fox News, I am actually happy The Donald didn't show up. I feel like you guys begging him to show up just made you look weak. 

- Dear Trina, Thank you for all you do. I know that you are not always thanked or acknowledged but you have been such an important part of my life. We love you. Oh and boy I have some gossip for you today...I'll call soon.

- Dear Body, you have really felt awful the last few days. I am so thankful to be able to be home especially on the days I feel awful. The past couple of days I haven't accomplished much but that's the blessing of being home with my family and also working from home.

- Dear Laura, You are such an amazing person and I know you will find that good job you are looking for. Just be patient! Kiss your kids for us. 

- Dear Chantix, I'm really counting on you. 

- Dear Jackson, I'm sorry about your chair. I will do my best to fix it but you have to be easier with your things. I love you and hope you are having a great day at school. It's Friday! 

- Dear Midori Planner, I love you. I tried switching it up with my Inkwell Press but I just couldn't do it. Thanks for making my life easier. 

- Dear Grandma, I hope you know how much I love and miss you. I know things are different and I am sure it scares you but your family really does love you. We all do and I can't wait to get up north and see you. 

- Dear Self, everyday is a clean slate. Everyday remind yourself of that. Then remind yourself to do the things you will regret NOT doing.  

- Dear Blog/ Youtube Friends, Thank you for coming and sharing our lives. We are not perfect by any strech of the imagination but we are a family. We love each other and we love our blog and we love our youtube channel. I was just checking out stats last night and so far on this blog I have had 1,474,221 visits to this blog and our youtube channel is growing daily with over 20k subscribers. I feel like I earned everyone of those subscribers! And every time a email comes in saying someone new has subscribed, I thank them quietly to myself. This blog and that channel is here for you guys. I hope you enjoy new posts and videos as well as the older ones. We love sharing with you and believe me....you guys are simply the best. I feel blessed because of you. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.