Day in the Life Vlog :)

Hello everyone. I hope you are having a wonderful day! I am back sharing our latest day in the life vlog. It feels really good to have this blog.....my little online space updated and available for you all. This past week was pretty normal around here. For the first time in a long time I am finally feeling caught up a little more. I still have a ton of projects that I want to get done but I am feeling good about not being as behind. AJ is starting to get on a routine and little better which is making life a little easier too! Here is how this past week went!

Thank you for stopping by today. I am hoping I can make more time to really get a week in review up but right now I am happy just getting the video shared! :) I hope you have a beautiful and blessed week. I should have a new Tuesday Truths blog post up later today! Be sure to come back and check it out! 

Day in the Life Vlog → Easter 2017 ←

Hello friends! I hope you are having a lovely day. I am back sharing a new vlog and week in review. It was a busy week. I didn't always pull the camera out but I did try to record a little more. Here's how last week went. 

There were lots of little moments this past week that melted my heart.

Ryan is so good with the kids. He loves little babies and always has. They love him too.

Remember when I was complaining that Baby Roman just wanted men besides his mommy? It took me forever to earn his trust and love. Ryan walks in....and it's over! They love him and that means a lot to me.

Also last week, after a long day at work....I enjoyed a long hot rock pedicure.

It was so nice. Laura went with me and we just had a relaxing day. My feet, legs and back were hurting and it really helped.

And of course we had Easter this past weekend. I got a lot of little baskets ready for everyone coming to dinner. So cute...

I got the table set early.

And then everyone came over. All the kids were dressed up. They were really enjoying the evening playing around and eating candy.

What a difference a year makes. Last year I was with Jackson and Zane. We had a early dinner at the Melting Pot while Scott came up here and got things ready for us to move. I honestly would have never thought that there would be such big changes in just a year. But I am ok. Better than ok actually. I have really tried to get my life together since we split up and since he died. I might not have the big house. I might not have the exact car I want to drive. But I do have the love of an amazing family. I have amazing friends. I don't fake my emotions. I don't try to make things out to be better than what they are. I try my hardest to do my best and be gracious.

This Easter was filled with all the kids with the exception of Jackson. He was with his father and while that upset me....I just went with the flow. Ryan has been in my life so long. It just feels so natural for him to be around. Everyone at the table below, I love.

I have a beautiful family. I know it and I don't take any of it for granted. I hope you all had a great Easter. Thank you for stopping by. I am not listing out all my to do's for this week due to time constraints. I'll be back soon! xx

Week in Review → Day in the Life Vlog!

Hello friends! It's no secret that I am behind on mostly everything when it comes to videos and this little blog of mine. This is not going to be some huge week in review like you guys are use to. Instead you are getting a " somewhat regular "....meaning nothing really exciting this week along with just a few photos. There are just not enough hours in the day! :) Here's what went on around here last week. Hope you enjoy. 

Life is pretty ordinary for me right now. Work...sleep...and repeat! But my schedule won't always be so crazy and hopefully I can get back on a schedule sometime in the near future.

On Tuesday of last week, I had traffic court. I hated the idea of even going. Court is never fun. It's never somewhere I want to be. I am always scared I am going to get the flu from the other people around. And I am always trying to find a way out of it.

Thankfully it wasn't as bad as I had imagined...right! I was there a total of 10 minutes and my ticket was dismissed. Fancy that!

That same day my boss bought us pizza's and it was so yummy. I had not been to Toppit yet being there are so many new restaurants that have popped up while I was gone. But I am really happy with my lunch!

They do a pretty good job of taking care of me at work. I can tell you this....I am never hungry! And if I am it's only for a few minutes until something is cooked up for me! Thank you Beth for this sweet surprise! 

There were plenty of nights when I watched Ryan sleep. He always looks so sweet and peaceful. I absolutely love this photo.

Those night have been followed by a lot of early mornings. However I do see some of the prettiest sunrises on my way to work.

There were also random Dr. appointments, running kids around trying to make sure they have everything they need. Jackson is really getting taller! I am so proud of him. Even though he likes to act like a tough guy a lot of times, I still see my sweet baby every time I look at him.

And he's pretty funny too! 

Some of my evenings have been occupied by the grand kids. Laura is working 2 jobs which means we all have to help out sometimes. And I love them so much that I am happy to help. Watching them grow up has certainly been a privilege. 

And guess who they really love! They were so calm that night. Then he walked in the door and it all changed! I think they could just feel his fun energy! 

It's important to me that our families like each other. I want us all to spend time together. I want family dinners, holidays together and I am so happy everyone has accepted Ryan the way the have. Mainly the kids. None of this has been easy. We are all just trying to make as many good memories as we can and see what the future holds.

Thank you guys for stopping by. I'll be back tomorrow with a new food haul. I hope you are having a great week. Hell, at this point we are already to the weekend! :) Have a beautiful and blessed day. xx

Week in Review/ DITL Vlog

Hello friends! I am so sorry to be at the end of the week posting this week in review. I feel like I have less and less time to get on here and share. I promise I am working hard on balancing out time. So this is how last week went... hope you enjoy! 

I am still trying to get caught up in basically every way. I have a pile of laundry waiting on me, this blog waiting on me, kids waiting on appointments to be made. Instead of stressing out, I am just slowly but surely getting around to everything. This week at work, I was given another day which means for a while I will be working 6 days a week. Thankfully I don't ever really have to work past 3 but it's just hard squeezing everything in.

Life is still going great around the apartment. I am thankful for all I have. For the family and friends that truly lift me up. I am doing well and it hasn't been easy. I have had to make a huge effort to stay positive. I dreamed of Scott for the first time here recently helping me believe he is ok on the other side. There is so much I wish I could say but at this point, it doesn't really matter. The kids and I are left here to pick up the pieces and go on. I hope to not only make Scott proud but also all my loved ones that are also gone. I know they are watching. And while it might be easy to breakdown and stay in bed, I feel a huge desire to push forward. I feel like with Ryan I have been blessed with a man who loves me again whom I adore. I know I am blessed and that is how I truly get through each day.

This is not my standard week in review. I am not listing out all the things I hope to accomplish this week because it's Friday already and I am actually editing a new vlog. But I just wanted to come share last week's. :) Thank you for stopping by today. I will have a new edition of Friday letters up in just a bit. xx

Week in Review w/ DITL Vlog! Nashville, Tennessee

Hi friends! I hope you are having a great day. I know that this week in review post is going up a bit late but we have all been dealing with the sniffles around here. Actually that's a nice way of putting it because I feel like all my senses in my body are being assaulted by the flu bug. I just haven't felt good enough to do hardly anything let alone post on my blog. But I feel a little better at least right now in this moment so I thought I would share my latest video. Here's how this past week went. Hope you enjoy....more is below! 

The beginning of the week went pretty normal. The mornings came with the sound of the alarm for both of us. We both worked a lot and played very little. There are some days when all I seem to do is get up and go to work and sleep. It's kinda different now not being home all day everyday. I don't really mind it really either. I like my job and I enjoy seeing the customers. So many of them come in everyday so they are quickly becoming friends. I actually feel blessed to be doing what I was so scared of. I am no longer nervous about working outside the home. I am no longer scared how I would live without Scott. I have had to pick up the pieces and put my life together on my own. I have had the help of amazing family and friends but it's really been me that has had to take ownership of my own life. It's been a long road but I am finally feeling content, safe, and somewhat on a regular schedule again.  However, we switched the routine and schedule up this past week. Ryan wanted to do a weekend getaway trip to Nashville, Tennessee. He was just ready to get away and cut loose a little. So in the middle of the week, we packed up the car and took off on a little road trip. 

We talked all the way there. I know so many of you want to get to know him better and want to see him on film more. I am just not sure that will really happen. He's much more private than I am and he didn't sign up to be on youtube. I have to respect that. Which is why you don't see him very much in the videos. I am not hiding when I am recording. He watches me edit each video and know's exactly what I am sharing. When or if ever he is comfortable being in the videos, I will share more. 

We stayed at the Millennium Maxwell House Hotel. Its a big hotel and our room was really comfortable. I complained about not having enough hot water once, but that was it. We both liked the hotel. There is a big history about Maxwell House Coffee which was nice because I don't mind that kind of coffee. They had it stocked up in the rooms and it's the only coffee they served. And it was yummy! 

All through the hotel there is pretty cool art work. I loved walking around looking at it all. It was a charming place to be. 

 

We walked around the city. We enjoyed the night life that Nashville offers and just acted like tourists! I really enjoyed the break from real life. I love that he planned it. I love that he wanted me to go with him. I love that we made a lot of great memories. And I love that he wiped out his phone and snapped this photo of us. 

Ryan just is not that comfortable in front of the camera. I am trying to slowly change that. :) This wasn't a huge big vacation. This was a little weekend getaway and we both had a great time. However, I was feeling so sick from Friday on. I just had to take a ton of meds and I tried to not let it ruin the weekend. Ryan started feeling sick too. I think my little grand kids gave it to me, and I gave it to him. Needless to say, we were both happy to come home and rest. And even today, I am still dealing with the flu. :( 

To Do's

:: Laundry. 

:: Get PO Box taken care of 

:: Bath and Groom kitty cats

:: Go to rental office and take paperwork

:: Help Laura start packing. She is moving too! 

:: Clean up files on laptop

:: Organize frig and freezer to make more room. 

:: Do nails

:: Try to record new Q & A

A little inspiration to take with you this week:

Thank you for stopping by. I hope you are having a great week. I love you guys. xx 

Week in Review March 6-12, 2017 w/ DITL Vlog!

Hello friends. Happy Monday. I hope you are having a beautiful start to this new week. I am back sharing a new vlog along with a new week in review. I have done this for so many years that I just feel it's something I want to continue. Here's the vlog and more is below. Hope you enjoy. 

A little more about my week: 

This past week was I guess what I would consider a typical week. I worked a lot and I didn't have a lot of time to get other things done. But I am trying to get back on some kind of schedule. I have made decisions based on being a stay at home wife and mom for so many years. Now that I am working, my decisions are a lot of times different than what they use to be. However, moving back home means I spend a lot more time with family and friends. I think it was what I was craving the most after being gone so long. I actually get to go to preschool with Laura and spend more time with the kids. I get to see and spend more time with Brittany and other family and friends. I am happy to be here. I really am. It's what I dreamed of. I get to hear the grand kids laughter everyday. I get to see Laura, Brittany, and Jackson as much as I want. I get to see old friends and even make new ones. It's really strange how things work out sometimes. There is truly no predicting the future.

I am also very comforted in knowing that I have so many of my old friends back in my everyday life. Friends that I have had forever. People I have loved for a very long time. Ryan is at the top of that list. I am blessed to have someone who knows me so well. The scary thing is we are a lot alike. I think that's good since Scott and I were opposites on just about everything. I am really trying to not make a lot of the same mistakes. I am trying harder in every aspect of my life. I feel like with all the pain of things going so horribly wrong, I got stronger. I have learned what I want more and trying to accomplish it. Some of my goals are pretty simple really....be a better mom. be a better girlfriend... be a better friend. I have cut out all toxic people. I stopped caring about what others think about me. I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror and live with the choices I make. I MAKE. I am sure some people think they can tell me or explain to me what I should be doing....what I shouldn't be doing but this life was given to me. It's my path to walk and it's my story to tell. I have really been trying to focus on the positive and know that my happiness is dependent on no one but myself. I think as days turn to weeks and weeks to months and months to years, I will continue to learn the lessons God wants. I will get stronger and I will continue to strive to do better. I don't have the time to live unhappy. I know better than anyone that we are on borrowed time. Why waste a single moment of it? 

I am so happy that this week was a good week. Spent with good friends, family and even good wine from time to time. :) This French Lick wine is soooooo good. Try it! 

This week is going to be busy, fun and exhausting all at the same time. I work some and then leave on Thursday to go on vacation. Ryan planned it all out and I think we are going to have a lot of fun. He works hard and I know he needs a break. I also could use a few nights of fun and mornings sleeping in next to him. I feel so comfortable with him. Probably more so than in my marriage. Again, I guess it goes back to us knowing each other for so long. He's really quiet sensitive and gentle. It's all about love. We all just want to be loved and he is no different. I have no idea where our relationship will go. I have stopped trying to guess the future after everything that has happened. But I am excited to find out. 

Weekly To Do's

:: Clean apartment....it needs it. 

:: Try to get more sleep each night. 

:: Do laundry

:: Go to the grocery store later today...hopefully. 

:: Don't forget the cat food and litter

:: Kiss Ryan a lot more...hug my family a lot more. 

:: Clean out the frig. 

:: Delete a lot of photos and videos from my phone to make more room. 

:: Give Laura a key to the apartment. 

:: Pack up for our trip. :)

:: Go through bills and pay what I can. 

:: Clean garbage from car. 

:: Start looking for Harper and Ashlynn's birthday gifts. 

:: Call and confirm hotel and rental car. 

::  Try to get in a yoga workout...TRY.

Here is some inspiration to take with you through the week

Thank you guys for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed the vlog. Lots to do this week and not a lot of time! Let me know how things are going in your neck of the woods. xx

Week in Review w/ DITL Vlog

Hello everyone. It's Tuesday night and I am just getting around to writing this post and sharing it. It's been a long couple of days. I honestly didn't ever realize how hard it would be to keep up with this blog with a job and family. I understand now. There are less hours in the day it seems. There are so many things pushed back and unfortunately this blog and my videos seem to take the brunt of it. I am coming to the realization that I just have to do what I can when I can and move on with it. I don't need to overthink it. I don't need to worry about it. I just need to put one foot in front of the other and get it done. Soooooo...I know it's Tuesday and I am just getting around to posting the WIR. Actually Tuesday Truths just went up a while ago. It is what it is! :) 

Week in Review w/ DITL Vlog

Hello friends! I hope you are having a wonderful Monday. I am back today with my latest DITL Vlog and a new week in review. It's been a while since I have got one of these up for you guys. Lots of photos and me rambling on. Hope you enjoy! 

I decided after a while of no videos that I would just come back with a new ditl vlog. I don't plan on doing anymore than one a week if that. I hope to get other videos up as well. Here is a little bit of how things have been going. 

Since I have moved back home so much has happened. I have been through so many life changes. Not all were good or easy either. However, one of the biggest greatest things about being here in Indiana is Brittany. She was a huge part of the reason to come back home. I was tired of missing out on all those big and little things with her. Most days I feel like a taxi driver running her, Jackson and even Maekenzie around. We are always in the car it seems....going from one practice to another or running items back and forth.

 Right now in the middle of the school year there hasn't been a lot of time for fun but it doesn't matter. We are still all getting to spend time with each other and finding joy even in the smallest of things.

I simply need to balance my time more because I miss doing the fun things. We need more family days. We just do. I tend to smile a lot more when the kids are around. The girls and Jackson just bring a new breath of fresh air to my life. And for that alone I am so grateful.

This past week as also hard and sad when I had to pick up Scotts ashes from the funeral home. I never imagined I would have to do that. I am still not sure what to do with him but in time we will figure that out. I think the ripple effect from his death will last a very long time with his kids and grand children. They will never know him and the kids that do remember will always miss him.

Laura and I still spend a lot of time together. I see her daily and it has given me more time with my grand children. They are growing up so fast. I guess I am trying to love Laura and the kids enough for both of us. Laura is one of the best people I know. I also moved back here for her them as well. We are family and I don't think that will ever change. 

I always wanted a houseful of girls. Always. I might not have had them myself but with Laura, her daughters, Ryan's daughter and Brittany along with Brittany's best friend Kenzie I am surrounded with amazing girls. They make me smile all the time. 

I have been struggling to find a good balance between work, kids, the animals, family. Just like the rest of you! On my days off I tend to run errands and clean. The apartment is smaller which helps a lot but even my days off are not just lounging days anymore. 

I am so happy we finally got a vacuum. It was fine borrowing Laura's all the time but its nice having one here. Little by little I am trying to rebuild, grow stronger and more confident. It just feels weird being my age starting over. But it's also a little empowering. 

Some nights around here we enjoy Chinese in bed...

I don't particularly like cooking that much. I guess I got use to not cooking much when I was in the camper. Ryan prefers dinner a little more than I do! But I am slowly getting back in the grocery store again so I can make dinner for us. He's actually bringing back a little stability in my life. And God knows that's a tall order for anyone. 

 I will hopefully have some new food hauls and recipes up soon for you guys too. I also plan on putting up a new tea video sometime soon sharing my favorites. Maybe I'll include a giveaway as well! :)

Life around here has been pretty busy and calm all at the same time. The cats seem to be adjusting to everything just fine. Gabby is as sweet as ever and Romeo is just plain spoiled rotten. He actually just celebrated his 5th birthday! That is one of the most loved animals I have ever had. The kids, Ryan, my friends just love him as much as I do. And Gabby has just fallen in love with Ryan.

We have been having the strangest weather this week. Friday we were in the high 70's. It was crazy. I was loving it. I think everyone around here was loving it. Then the next day, we actually dropped to 30 degrees and snow started to fall. I was at work when I noticed the snowflakes glistening away. This kind of strange weather has been going on all winter. I think its going to get us all sick. But just for a few hours I enjoyed watching it come down. The weather report shows that this week we will have a lot of rain. We are basically having all four seasons in one month. Who would have guessed.

Many have left such sweet comments on that vlog. I tell myself that I want/need to keep working as much as I can, but I'm still dealing with so many mental blocks that it's been kinda tough to put my thoughts together, so thank you for your patience with the cope with the ups and downs that have become so consistent in my life and posts. That's my life now after all:) There have been many days when I smile so big my cheeks hurt, and my heart feels light like it hasn't felt in so long, and then there are other days I feel the crushing grasp of heartache that literally takes my breath away. A lot of my thoughts are deep and heavy. Inquisitive at times. I want answers to questions that I will never get. But I am doing my best to remember the good things in my life. I have Ryan and he is doing his best to make me happy. He does make me smile and laugh a lot which really means a lot to me. He knows I am a mess a lot of the time. But somehow we both are saving each other really. I think he needed to be loved as well. We are trying to create new beginnings. My heart has been changed. In every sense it's been broken, battered and crushed, and these days I really feel so much more deeply than I would've ever thought possible. I just want to be happy. I am too old for anything else. I know not everyone understands and that's ok. They don't have to. But he makes me feel better. And I love him. Having him around feels so easy and natural. I feel like our lives are pieces of the same puzzle. We have known each other since we were kids. And were together before Scott and I and here we are now. I am sure that you will get to know him more in the future. 

I know that I have a lot to live for still. I have been terrible with change for years. I like routines, schedules, and certainty. But all these unexpected things that keep happening are just making learn to live more in the moment. I am taking more risks coming out of my comfort zone. It's been a new way of life. 

I have so many new goals and hopes for the future. Starting over at my age might seem crazy. It kinda is but I think it brings the opportunity to do things better. To love harder. To try harder. To be a better parent. To work harder. I have always loved fresh starts. And this is a new beginning for me. And really I am just putting one foot in front of the other trying to move on. And that's where I'm at. Just trying to find my way down a new path. Thank you guys for coming along with me. ♥♥♥

Weekly To Dos

- work in planner and calendars.
- make chocolate chip cookies
- Do nails
- Buy houseplant ( sounds silly but I have none! )
- Get seal for pressure cooker from camper
- Pre record some videos
- Make Dr. Apts for kids and myself. Ankle really has been hurting.
- Groom kitty cats
- Crack open an actual book.
- Start new organization project in apartment.
- Look for some new part for wheel area of my car. Ryan put it on my list.
- Make some homemade cleaners. So much healthier and cheaper.
- Go check on a couple of my uncles.
- Start on gallery wall....again.
- Plan a dinner where everyone is here. So hard with all the different schedules.
- Start trying to actually menu plan again.
- Get all the towels washed. I don't take them to be washed like I do the clothes.
- Clean out under kitchen sink
- Replace burnt out light bulbs.
- Wash sliding glass doors.


Shopping List

- microwave
- pillow for bathtub
- Amazon fire stick ( don't get me started on why )
- New Cookie sheet

Here's some inspiration to take with you throughout the week:

Thank you guys for stopping by. I love how inspirational, caring and supportive you all have been. I have always said I love this blog. I truly do. This is my home. Its been such a great way to communicate with all of you. You can always leave a comment and let me know how you are doing. Just as many of you have followed my life, I have followed many of yours. I'll see ya tomorrow with a new Tuesday Truths blog post. Have a beautiful and blessed week. xx