Helloooooooo! Catching up + Video(s)

Hello friends! I know it's been a while. So much has been going on and I just haven't had the time or even the internet to give you guys updates. So here I am tonight...at work. It's slow and I have the laptop open waiting on customers to come have dinner. :)

I am finally moved out of the house. It's been a long time coming. Scott kept trying to tell me that I was going to be evicted...those papers never arrived. But I still couldn't manage the bills there and I just didn't want to be in that house anymore anyway. I am moved out to the country where nature has been helping heal me. And when I say that... I don't mean I am really broken because I am not. But divorce is never easy. I am thankful he is gone. I am thankful for a fresh start. I am thankful for old and new friends. I am thankful for family. But it's still been hard at times. Giving up the animals, not being with the kids, the lies he tells is hard. But I am also thankful that I haven't been alone in this new single life journey. I have had someone very special to me around. It's a rebound relationship? I think not. I have loved him since we were just kids riding bikes. I think we have more in common that not. He feels like home to me in every way. Some of you have expressed that you didn't like it but I am 40 years old and no one decides who is in my bed. It feels right. It just does and I am not hiding it or making excuses for it. 

We have done so much together already. He loves the woods as much as I do so we are hiking a lot....cloud watching...laughing. We have known each other for so long but it's like getting reacquainted with a old friend. I laugh more because of him. I smile more because of him....and I try to listen to what he says a little more than what I normally would do. It's a little bit different but I trust him and I trust what he says to me. He's the opposite of Scott...he's quiet and soft spoken. He's not about arguing or confrontation. He's gentle. And he does a lot of stuff that I am not use to...like shopping with me. Do you have any idea how often I begged Scott to go shopping? It's just different. A better kind of different. :) He also helps with making dinner and I absolutely find him so sexy in the kitchen. But still things are going slow and we are just starting to really spend a lot of time together. 

The kids are doing great. It's been hard not being with them day after day but they both understand that right now I have a lot on my plate. They do too with school back in. Brittany has cheer and Jackson has soccer. It's just a super busy time of year. I am slowly starting to get a new rhythm to my life. Soon I will be back at it with the videos and blog post. However, having a camera in my face and everyone else's is not exactly what I want to be doing. I love sharing with you guys but until I am truly on my feet, with my schedule really figured out.....I have to slow down. I have to focus on so much right now. I ended up leaving a lot of stuff at the house. Old planners. Photos. I didn't have a ton of help to move it. I didn't want to pay for storage and I just thought it was better to let Scott have all that stuff. I can start over. All I need is a bed and tv to start out with...and work on everything else as I go. It's just wasn't worth it to me. I didn't want to see the stuff we used when we were together. I am not in a good place with Scott. I think he is the lowest of the low. And even though I am happy he is gone....that does not excuse any of his behavior. But it wouldn't be Scott if there wasn't some kind of drama. It's to be expected. 

I have been pretty behind with this blog. Since the last time we have spoke, I put up a couple new videos...here they are in case you missed them. ↓

With both of those videos and this blog post, you should be pretty well caught up. I am still trying to get adjusted to this new way of life....that's for sure! But I wake up happy in the mornings. I wake up with a sense of purpose. I know I have a long way to go...but I am moving forward. I am moving forward with amazing kids, a sexy old friend who I have found so much comfort in and a new life. I am going to continue to trust that God has a plan for me. Trust that I can actually do this. Trust in a person who I have always loved and missed. Trust that my kids will be ok. Because I am so blessed with family and friends who really love me. That's what matters. With both their and YOUR love and support, I have been lifted up. You guys mean the world to me and I love you all. Truly. I wish I could get back to all your comments and emails but that's just not possible at this moment. I do read each one and I can't express how much they mean to me. Soon I will be recording a new question and answer video because there are so many questions. Feel free to leave your questions on any video or this blog post....and I will have an instagram photo in a few days that you can also leave your questions on!

Have a beautiful and blessed night. I'll talk to you soon!  xx