Married Life ♥ Winter & Marriage ♥

Recently I was at an apt, and found myself reading Women’s Health Magazine . It had some good suggestions  that I thought I’d share about winter time and marriage..

These cold winter months
 are the perfect time for giving
our spouse some extra attention.

1.

Pretend you just met

 Author and psychologist Terri Orbuch, PhD, says couples often stop asking “get to know you” questions, because they think they already know each other. However, since we all change and develop, we need to be constantly checking in to keep the daily connection growing. So, instead of chatting about your daily agenda, spend some time pretending like you just started dating. Ask what he would do if he won the lottery or what her favorite book is. Or, ask about positive family memories or what the best ball game was he ever watched. Anything that would spark a good conversation. Don’t assume you know all your partner’s responses even if you’ve been married a long time.

    2. 

Tweet responsibly

Avid tweeters tend to have shorter relationships—10 percent shorter, on average. If you’re big into social media, learn how to disconnect from technology and truly connect with your spouse. (Based on a survey of 100,000 people from OKCupid.com) Be sure the time you tweet isn’t time taken away from being one-on-one with your spouse.

3.

Be intimate at least weekly

Frequency of sex is a marker for successful relationships. The average American couple gets busy two or three times a month. But increasing this to once a week generates as much bliss as earning an additional $50,000 in annual income, according to researchers from Dartmouth College and the University of Warwick in England. They even explain the reasoning behind the statistic. “Couples who like each other end up in bed more often, says the study author. “And it’s the liking-each-other part that increases joy.


Its important to make a daily effort not to drift apart. A commitment to choose love every day, and live in gratitude.Even when its has been hard and difficult in my marriage, I doubt change the past because it brought us to a stronger, better place.       

Couples that "drift apart" like it was something they couldn't control. It's natural for people to drift apart unless they are making a conscious effort to grow together and improve their relationship. Think about it as being in separate boats or not rowing together in the same boat. The winds and waves of life pull and blow us in different directions. People think this happens without their control. They blame the job, the kids, finances, whatever. It's really all the same reason - allowing yourselves to be pulled apart. It takes daily effort and a commitment not to drift apart.

Another big problem is couples who lose hope that they could be happier. They convince themselves they're with the wrong person. We get encouragement from other people who say "you deserve better." They are striving toward this elusive happiness and convinced their partner is not part of the equation. But the research shows that couples who stay together are often happier five years down the road. So if you're searching for happiness the odds are better to stay together rather than separate. If we take responsibility for our own happiness we can ultimately be happy together.

Life is bumpy at times. Often outside forces impact our happiness. And sometimes we don't feel very loving. But if we choose to act lovingly, often the loving feelings follow. By saying "I have to trust my feelings," we may be selling ourselves short. Feelings change day to day, minute to minute. We choose to love every day. 

 "Love is a daily decision."

Possibly the best advice on marriage, ever.

Don't expect your mate to make you happy. You are expecting something that God isn't even going to work on. Happiness depends on the right things happening, but whose definition of "right" is being used? Happiness is a choice of Attitude. You can choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy.

Marriage is...WORK, and if you want a Great Marriage, get ready to work. Problems are going to come into every relationsh­ip, and particular­ly when two people choose to live together "till death parts us".  How in this world do people think that two people of the opposite sex ( or not ), from differing family settings, can live together without encounter­ing adjustment­s?

A long time ago, I was working on the road with Scott and had to go far out in an area I didn't know for something.. Can't remember what I was doing out there or even what state we were in. But I was lost without a GPS and I stopped at house in the country.. There was a little old woman in white pants watering her flowers and digging around in plants on her big front porch. Well I was lost and I pulled in to ask her directions. Well, she was off to play bridge in a couple hours and offered me a glass of sweet tea. We sat on the porch talking like we had known each other for years. I asked if she was married and she told me her husband had passed away the year before. She asked about my life and my relationship and I really only had one big question to ask this very friendly woman.

How did you guys keep your marriage together for years on end??????

She looked right at me and said..

“Happiness is a choice. My husband and I were married 29 years and we choose to be happy. Every morning when we woke up,  we choose to enjoy our day with each other. We choose to be happy.”

“Choose to be happy

 and it will last.” 

I will never forget her telling me that. I am not always so good at choosing to be happy but I make more of an effort at it now that I ever have. But one thing I know for sure.. It works.  You can read back on this blog in the beginning and you will see there are days I didn't choose happiness. When we learn better.. we do better. I want this life I have with my husband to last. I couldn't imagine him not being here beside me. I could go into a panic attack just thinking about it. Sooo.. instead of fighting with him all the time, I try other things. I am lucky that I have a husband who is so affectionate and loving and I don't take that for granted. I don't take risks with my relationships anymore. Every day when I wake up.. I seriously lay there for a few seconds and think about my day and ask God to help me through it and I try to wake up happy. For many many years, waking up would be horrible for me. I always felt miserable getting up. Now I do it different. I ask and try to choose to be happy every time I wake up. Not only has this helped my marriage out but its helped out my entire life! It doesn't just naturally happen either.. I have to force my mind to think about it every day. I have found through Kabbalah that controlling your mind is what centers you. So try controlling you mind to be happy and see if it improves your life! You know the winter brings out the depression in almost all of us. Sunlight alone makes such a big difference.. But in months like these, try choosing to be happy and it will rub off on your spouse. Happiness and smiles brings more happiness and smiles!

Happiness and smiles

brings more

happiness and smiles!

Have a great Thursday!

K Jaggers
♥