Good afternoon friends! I hope you are having a beautiful Sunday. As usual, I am taking things a little more slowly today. I was up late trying to finish my closet organization re do and it just wore me out. It really is amazing how much stuff was in there that actually belonged in another room. I am going to keep working on it today to hopefully finish it up. Scott and Jackson just left for the golf course so my to do list today includes working on laundry, finishing the closet, and going to the grocery store. But right this moment, I am enjoying some delicious coffee made by Scott and enjoying some CNN. I was up late last night and planned on sleeping in but I should know better....the boys normally always wake me up on the weekends. It funny because every time I stay up late and hope that I am going to be able to sleep in, it never works. I should know this by now. Its been a pretty nice week and I am still working on being more happy and positive. Its not easy for me to remain positive all the time and I found this past week, I still found myself grumpy a few days but its not the end of the world. On those days, I just prayed a little more and just tried to remember that it was just a hard day...not a hard life. Last night was a prime example. I was exhausted from the day, just got done eating dinner and then sat down to work on the computer and a few other things. Well, I was digging in my purse looking for something I could not find...I spilled my drink...and I was really emotionally tired too. In that moment, when nothing was going right, I just stopped. I stopped everything, closed the computer, moved my messy purse away from me and just allowed myself to be in the moment. Inside I know that when nothing is working out the way I want, to stop, take a breath, take a break and let myself calm down to see the situation as it is. Once I got quiet and calm, things started working out a little better. And that thing I was looking for also just kinda showed up. In my anxious state, I looked right over it when in fact it was in front of me the entire time. And even though that was a complicated moment in time, I am still grateful and thankful for the reminder to just stop and not to push so hard in difficult situations. Just sit down and be calm and get a clear head...and re focus your energy in a better way. Clearly if you are all upset and things are not going easy...you need to find peace and then another way.
I am still learning everyday new lessons and new ways to cope with life. I am trying to find new ways to handle things without letting my emotions run over. A lesson, I have a feeling that I will be learning until my last breath. My therapist last week impressed upon us the urgency for us to feel empathy first before anything else. Before walking in that day, I would say I had a lot of empathy for people...sometimes too much. And after I walked out the door, I wasn't so sure. For example....if your significant other really upsets you.. don't just address the situation. First, have empathy for where they were coming from. They don't feel like the enemy so much when you have empathy first. So instead of jumping right into the hot topic..take a few minutes to listen and to remind them and yourself that people are not their mistakes. And instead of the other person feeling attacked, they will be more open about it and maybe respond with a - I am sorry you feel way - then once that love and empathy is upfront first you can address the situation much easier. Sounds so juvenile doesn't it? Do you remember the true meaning of empathy? And you you apply it first? I sometimes don't.. and I am working very hard to remember it has to come first before any hard situation. And in a marriage both of you have to have it. Again.. something Scott and I are working on together. The therapist was saying conversations would never turn into fights if more people started with empathy first. I bet he's right.
I hope you have a great week and I hope you remember to put empathy first and foremost in the hardest most difficult situations and maybe they will turn out a little better. Its our word of the year. Not week..Not just a word for the month.. a word that we are strongly using and feeling every single day. Empathy is the Jaggers family word of the year.
Have a great day!
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