30 Days of Blogging - Describe your relationship with your Parents -

I am back today with Covered In Grace for 30 days of blogging prompts! Once I am done with all of them. . I will put them in a tidy post all together!

Today is..

Day 3: Describe your relationship with your parents.

Wow.. not such an easy topic for today.. but I will do my best to explain it. My mom and dad divorced when I was very young. I ended up moving in with my grandparents and in effect had 3 mothers.. and 3 fathers.. My mom, her husband.. My dad, his many wife's.. My grandfather.. My grandmother.

My mom was ALWAYS around..and my father was in and out on a regular basis because it was his parents whom I was living with.

I have one of the best moms anyone can ask for. We don't always get along but we love each other very much and there isn't a thing should could ask for that I wouldn't do for her. Shes so loyal and most of her thoughts and actions are based from her heart. Seriously.. I have a great mom.

So why would I end up living with my grandparents? Well that was a long story but my grandmother was very determined to have me live there. Funny things is.. I was closer to my grandfather than I was with her.

Looking back now.. I think I see a clearer picture. I think if I was living with my mom.... I wouldn't have had the strong father figure that maybe I needed. I think all that pain of not living with my mom when I was younger was so I could simply have a very close relationship with the man above. My real father is very " complicated" to say the least and my relationship has been tested over the years. I am a lot alike him in many ways. I don't mind being alone.. just as him.. but I care about my kids more than he has ever cared about me. At this point, I don't really speak to him. I don't stop him from speaking or seeing either of the kids but I end up expecting too much and getting disappointed easily when it comes to him. When I met my husband many years ago.. I wasn't speaking with my father.. then we speak for a while .. and now we are back at not talking to one another. Its sad... but I had a father. A great father.. One who I love very much. I remember everything he told me. And I wish more than anything that I could just have one more minute with him. Don't get me wrong. He could be a total hard ass.. but I have so many more great memories than not with him. I know he loved me.. and he knows I love him. I still speak to him like hes right here. I still think I have a relationship with him... just in a different way now.

I think in the big picture God knew I would have my mom in my adult years. And she is the single most important adult in my life besides my husband. And I also think God knew that I needed a father.. and it wasn't my actual dad.. it was his father. Truthfully, my father only came around on weekends and holidays. And made no effort beyond that. I am thankful for the memories I made with my grandfather and I am also thankful that he made the same impact on my kids. Jackson still cries over him.

And I always say that

Crying over a lost loved one, is a testament to a live well lived.

And as I move through this life with the memories from my grandfather and under the wing of my mom.. I feel more confident than ever that I am going in the right direction and have all the love and support that I need. I carry them inside me every where I go. ♥