MONDAY BACK AROUND...

HELLO EVERYONE..WELL I WOKE UP TO A VERY QUITE HOUSE. THE ONLY NOISE WAS THE SOUND OF COOPERS TAGS AND COLLAR DINGING TOGETHER. BESIDES THAT LITTLE NOISE THERE WAS NOTHING. IT WAS ANOTHER SIMPLE BUT HURTFUL PART OF THE KIDS GOING. I WAS DOING OK LATE LAST NIGHT. BUT IT SEEMS LIKE I TOOK ONE STEP FORWARD AND 2 STEPS BACK ALREADY TODAY. I FELT ALMOST LIKE I WAS LIVING ALONE WHEN I GOT UP. SO QUICKLY I TURNED ON THE NEWS AND GOT SOME NOISE GOING THROUGH THE HOUSE.

ITS 1:30 AND I AM STILL IN MY PJS. I FIGURED I COULD TAKE THE FIRST DAY AFTER THEY LEAVE AND KINDA BE ON MY OWN TIME. ITS BEEN HARD AND DEPRESSING SO I AM TAKING IT EASY FOR A BIT LONGER. BUT BEFORE LONG, I HAVE TO GET DRESSED AND RUN SOME ERRANDS. I CANT ALLOW MYSELF TO SIT AROUND TOO LONG..OTHERWISE IT WILL ONLY HELP MY DEPRESSION ISSUES. I HAVE TO MAKE MYSELF DO THINGS EVEN WHEN MY HEART IS BREAKING AND MY WORLD IS FALLING APART. TO BE FAIR, I SHOULD SAY THAT SCOTT IS A BIG PART OF MY WORLD AND THAT PART OF MY LIFE IS GREAT. HE HAS BEEN VERY KIND, LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE THESE PAST FEW DAYS. HE KNOWS HOW HARD IT IS ON ME GOING THROUGH THIS AND HE HAS BEEN VERY UNDERSTANDING. LATE LAST NIGHT WHEN I WENT TO BED THE CATS FOLLOWED ME AS ALWAYS..BUT WHILE GABBY WAS JUMPING ON THE BED..GIOVANNI WAS JUMPING ON HER FROM BEHIND AND PULLED HER OFF THE BED BUT SHE HAD HER NAIL IN SCOTTS FOOT AND ACTUALLY CUT HIM PRETTY BAD. BUT HE WAS BEING FUNNY AND LAUGHING. I HAD TO PUT MEDICINE AND BAND AIDS ON IT. BUT HE KEPT MAKING JOKES AND ACTUALLY GOT A SMILE AND A FEW LAUGHS OUT OF ME. SO I KNOW HE WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. IT WORKED..UNTIL THIS MORNING WHEN I WOKE UP. ITS A NEW LIFE AGAIN. I JUST HAVE TO GET USE TO IT. I HAVE GOTTEN USE TO SPENDING A LOT OF TIME ALONE BEING HE WORKS A LOT BUT ITS ALWAYS SUPER HARD WHEN I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY KIDS FOR MONTHS AND THEN IN ONE DAY ITS ALL CHANGED. SO I JUST HAVE TO GET USE TO THINGS ALL OVER AGAIN.

I STILL THINK WE ARE MOVING IN SEPTEMBER SOMETIME BUT I HAVE NOT STARTED PACKING ANYTHING. UNTIL I KNOW FOR SURE I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING. SCOTT FEELS PRETTY CONFIDENT THAT WE ARE GONE BUT I AM NOT SO SURE. I GUESS I SHOULD BELIEVE HIM BECAUSE THE CLOCK IS TICKING..BUT HE IS HELPING PACK THIS TIME!

I HAVE SOME RUNNING AROUND TO DO LATER TODAY. I THOUGHT SCOTT WAS GOING TO BE OUT TILL AFTER 10 TONIGHT BUT BASEBALL WAS CANCELLED AGAIN SO HE WILL BE OFF WORK AND HOME A LITTLE AFTER 8 TONIGHT. KINDA HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I DIDNT WANT HIM BEING OUT THAT LATE BUT THATS THE WAY IT GOES WHEN HE IS PLAYING BASEBALL. SO I DONT HAVE AS MUCH TIME AS I THOUGHT. I AM GOING TO TRY TO GET AT LEAST 1 OF THE KIDS ROOM CLEANED TODAY. I WOULD RATHER DO IT WHEN I AM ALONE SO NO ONE SEES IF I START CRYING LIKE A BABY.

WELL I AM OFF TO FINISH THIS CUP OF HOT TEA, GET A SHOWER AND GET CLEANED UP.

TALK TO YOU GUYS IN A BIT..I AM STILL DOWNLOADING LOTS OF PICTURES. I AM WAITING TO POST THEM ALL AT ONE TIME. BUT IF IT TAKES TOO LONG I MIGHT POST ONE AT A TIME.. I WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE.

TALK TO YOU SOON..

K JAGGERS

♥