MY EARLY LIFE LINE

THIS IS GOING TO HAVE TO BE MY LIFE LINE TODAY...IF I COULD GET AN IV OF COFFEE IT WOULD BE IN MY ARM RIGHT NOW. I SLEPT PRETTY GOOD BUT NOT LONG ENOUGH. I THINK I COULD HAVE SLEPT ALL DAY IF I WOULD HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF. I PUT FRESH CLEAN SHEETS AND BLANKETS ON THE BED YESTERDAY..ITS LIKE LAYING IN FLUFFY DOWNY CLOUDS! THE BED SO FLUFFY AND THE SMELL IS JUST BEAUTIFUL...BOTH CATS SNUGGLED RIGHT UP WITH ME AND FELL RIGHT TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT. I GUESS THEY LIKED THE FLUFFY BED TOO! ACTUALLY GIOVANNI IS STILL IN IT RIGHT NOW! LUCKY HIM! I WANTED TO SAY.. I AM SORRY FOR MY BLOG LAST NIGHT. I WAS PRETTY UPSET AT SOME COMMENTS THAT I GOT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE.. I THINK IF YOU ARE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING THEN YOU SHOULD STAND BEHIND IT. AND LEAVING A COMMENT THAT WAS MEAN HIDING THEIR NAME IS COWARD LIKE. ITS NOT LIKE I AM GOING TO COME BEAT YOU UP.. I AM NOT A CHILD. BUT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE ABLE TO KNOW WHO I AM RESPONDING TO. I SHOULD NOT HAVE USED SUCH BAD LANGUAGE..I AM TRYING TO NOT CURSE AS MUCH BUT SOMETIMES WHEN I HAVE HAD ENOUGH, IT JUST COMES OUT. I DON'T MIND SOMEONE BEING CRITICAL BUT BEING JUDGEMENTAL IS SOMETHING ELSE. I WONT PUBLISH THESE COMMENTS.. I WONT.. I DON'T THINK THEY DESERVE THE SATISFACTION OF SEEING THEIR HATE EMAIL ON MY BLOG.. THEY SUCCEEDED IN UPSETTING ME A FEW TIMES. BUT REALLY.. I AM NOT WASTING MY TIME TO DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE.. I HAVE ALREADY WASTED ENOUGH. SO SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYONE. IT WAS ONLY MEANT FOR THE PERSON WHO HAS LEFT THE LAST COUPLE OF COMMENTS. THEY MIGHT LEAVE MORE..WITHOUT THEIR NAME OF COURSE...BUT I AM NOT PLAYING THIS GAME...YOU GOT MY ATTENTION BUT KEEPING IT WILL BE A DIFFERENT STORY. I FEEL BETTER THAN I EVER HAVE IN MY 34 YEARS OF LIFE.. BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND, BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, BEAUTIFUL FAMILY AND FRIENDS, BEAUTIFUL HOUSE AND A LIFE I AM FINALLY CONTENT WITH. I HAVE FOUGHT AGAINST THE WORLD FOR YEARS. I HAD ONE OF THE HAPPIEST CHILD HOODS YET WAS ONE OF THE MOST SAD ADULTS IN THIS WORLD..BUT LIFE CHANGED AND SCOTT WAS THE BEGINNING OF THAT CHANGE. I AM NOT GOING TO FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE. I HAVE LEARNED A LOT ON THE WAY TO WHERE I AM NOW. SURE THERE ARE A FEW REGRETS BUT I CANT CHANGE THE PAST..JUST THE FUTURE. AND I WILL BE DAMNED IF ANYONE THINKS THEY ARE GOING TO JUDGE ME FOR THAT. I KNOW I AM A GOOD PERSON..I KNOW I AM A GOOD MOM, WIFE AND FRIEND..NO STUPID COMMENT IS GOING TO SHATTER THAT..EVER.. I KNOW NOT TO TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED..IT COULD ALL CHANGE IN A SECOND..I KNOW THAT..SO I WANT EVERY SECOND TO MEAN SOMETHING TO ME.. I REALLY DO TRY TO LIVE THAT WAY. SO IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU LEFT THE MEAN COMMENTS, MAYBE YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THIS.....

I BELIEVE AT IF AT THE END OF IT ALL. ACCORDING TO OUR ABILITIES WE HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO MAKE OTHERS A LITTLE HAPPIER AND SOMETHING TO MAKE OURSELVES A LITTLE HAPPIER, THIS IS ABOUT THE BEST WE CAN DO. TO MAKE OTHERS LESS HAPPY IS A CRIME. TO MAKE OURSELVES UNHAPPY IS WHERE ALL CRIME STARTS. WE MUST TRY TO CONTRIBUTE JOY TO THE WORLD...THAT IS TRUE NO MATTER WHAT OUR PROBLEMS, OUR HEALTH, OUR CIRCUMSTANCES. WE MUST TRY.. I DIDN'T ALWAYS KNOW THIS BUT I AM GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO FIGURE IT OUT.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIGURE THIS OUT TOO...

I DO WANT TO MENTION..MY CHILDREN ARE WITH THEIR FATHER DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR...I DON'T KNOW WHY ITS HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT FATHERS ARE JUST AS EQUAL AS MOTHERS..HE IS DOING A GOOD JOB WITH THE KIDS AND AS HARD AS THIS SITUATION IS, WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT. I LOVE MY KIDS WITH ALL MY HEART. AND I AM SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT I SHOULD NOT BE DISRUPTING THEIR LIVES TO MOVE BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD TO RELOCATE WOULD ONLY MAKE THINGS HARD ON THEM..THEY ARE THRIVING IN THEIR ENVIRONMENT. AS HARD AS IT IS TO BE AWAY FROM THEM EVERYDAY, BUT THANKS TO SKYPE, EMAIL, SNAIL MAIL AND PHONES ARE OUR LIFE SAVERS. I MUST TALK TO THE KIDS 3-4 TIMES A DAY SOMETIMES. ITS NOT LIKE I AM NOT AN ACTIVE PARENT..I AM..JUST FROM A DISTANCE..ANYONE WHO WANTS TO JUDGE ME, THEY SHOULD TALK TO MY KIDS FIRST..AND EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOT ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF MY EX HUSBAND. THERE ARE DAYS I WOULDN'T MIND LIGHTING HIM ON FIRE BUT FOR THE MOST PART, WE ARE GETTING ALONG BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE. BETWEEN SCOTT, MY EX HUSBAND AND I WE ARE ALL TRYING TO GET ALONG AND KEEP THE KIDS BEST INTREST AT HEART..

ENOUGH SAID..

ITS STILL A LITTLE COOL OUTSIDE. I THINK THE HIGH IS ONLY GOING TO BE ABOUT 64 WITH SHOWERS THROUGH OUT THE DAY. YUCK..GLAD I DON'T HAVE ANY REAL PLANS EXCEPT SOME PROJECTS AROUND THE HOUSE. BEN REMINDED ME LAST NIGHT THAT I FORGOT TO MAKE HIM HIS CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER BARS; SO I MIGHT MAKE THEM TODAY..

I NEED TO GET OFF HERE AND CALL AND CHECK IN WITH GRANDMA..SHE IS DOING OK IN HER NEW PLACE...I STILL WORRY A LOT ABOUT HER. I TRY TO CALL ABOUT EVERY 3 HRS OR SO JUST TO CHECK IN WITH HER..SO TALK TO YOU GUYS SOON! HAVE A BEAUTIFUL AFTERNOON. K JAGGERS ♥